We, still as one
by Iroyuki
Summary: After an incident forces Romano to take over Italy's half of the country for good, he struggles to pull himself together to keep his brother's beautiful country the same as he carries the guilt of Feliciano's incident in his heart.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one: 

Looking back, Romano pulled the final strings of his brother's downfall. He knew he was to blame from the start. No matter what everyone told him, he knew it was fault. He refused to take in the name he always wanted when they finally gave it to him because he knew he doesnt deserve the beautiful name that was once his perfect brother's. Italia wasnt his name nor was he worthy of taking it. Lovino was the perfect name for someone who ruined happiness by letting Feliciano slip away from the world.

"Romano?" Germany entered the Italian household well set on completing a meeting and leaving instantly. Although his relationship with the fiesty italian had approved greatly since 40 years ago he didn't like to spend much time with him. His face and stubborn curl still brought about memories he once shared with the one he loved. "In here, potato bastard." Germany followed the voice into romanos office. He searched around seeing nothing but shelves until he spotted an undeniable curl moving towards the desk until Romano appeared moving afew binders onto the table and sat down, Germany following pursuit. "Okay macho potato lets get this over with" romano said turning tabs on one of the binders

The meeting was finished rather quickly which surprised the german. Who would've known Romano to be a diligent worker when matters called for it. "Well thats the end of it, Grazie for the help potato brains" Romano said with a yawn. "Not a problem, I will always be here to help out Italy." The german turned to leave. "Im not italy and you know that." Germany turned to see a very tired Romano with watery eyes. "I didn't mean just you Romano, you may be all of Italy now, but I still help for your brother's sake. He may be gone now but he is still watching over Italy with you and so am I." Romano went to put his paperwork away when the german grab onto his arm to stop him. "You've been working hard haven't you? I'm proud of you honestly. Take a break and lets get a drink ja? My treat."

Romano looked up to the German with tired eyes. A drink? When was the last time he went outside to enjoy himself? Ever since his brother's incident 40 years ago he stayed indoors only ever focusing on work. He saw people sure, but only for meetings or the occasional person dropping by to wish him a happy holiday or birthday. "Sure, I'll go, but don't think this makes us friends. I just need some fresh air," he finally said as he reached for his coat.

Germany pov

We walked out and headed for a bar. I didn't want to spend any extra time with him but he really looked like he needed to get outside for once. His once tan skin turned pale and the bags under his eyes just increased in size every time I saw him. I wonder if he has been sleeping or eating. Italy would be very upset to see his brother this way. I didn't have much of a choice did I, Feliciano?

Normal POV

The two made it to a bar and took a seat at a corner table and ordered their drinks while having small talk. "Do you really only drink beer, bastard?" Asked Romano as he watched Germany drink his 3rd glass. "Its not so bad, maybe you should have one too, if you're man enough." The Italian smirked, "is that a test? Ill show you that italians beat muscle heads like you any day. " He ordered a beer and chugged the whole thing as the German watched him in shock. "Well, actually I didn't think you would drink it... Feliciano didn't like beer." A short silence. "I never told you..." started Romano, "what happened right before the incident." Germany ordered another two beers getting ready for the depression to hit back for both nations.


	2. Chapter 2: brothers fight

40 years before present time

"Fratello! Im home" a cheerful italian called out. He found his brother sleeping on the coucn with the television on. Italy pulled a blanket over his brother and turned off the television before going to start on dinner.

Romano found himself awoken by the smell of pasta coming from the kitchen. His brother was home. He pushed himself off the couch and trudged into the kitchen to find his brother serving plates. "You're finally home," he murmured. Feliciano looked up to see his grumpy brother standing by the opening. "Ve~ youre up! Bad day fratello? Dont worry some pasta will cheer you up!" He set a plate down and Lovino sat down and picked at his food. "You were gone for two whole weeks." He said plainly. The younger brother swallowed thickly, he knew his brother was not going to let him slide out of this one. "Germany took me sight seeing after the meeting and I lost track of the days. Im sorry I didnt call fratello." Romano scoffed. "What I wanna know is what's going on between you and that potato bastard." Italy sat quietly staring at his plate for afew seconds before mumbling something. "Im sorry fratellino, I didn't catch that." Romano said in a monotone not looking away from his brother. Feliciano cleared his throat before repeating clearer, "we're dating."

Lovino looked at his brother shocked before standing up and sitting next to his brother who refused to look up at him. "Now you listen to me Feliciano. And I say this for your own good. Break it off." Feliciano looked up at his brother with tears in his eyes. " I love you fratello but I cannot approve of this."

"But fratello!"

"Feliciano it's wrong and you know it is. God forbids it and I will be damned if im letting you go to hell because some stupid potato bastard cant keep himself off of you."

"Fratello no way this is not fair I wont do it." Feliciano stood up now crying and angry. Why can't his brother be happy for him?

"Feliciano for once listen to me!" Romano was growing impatient with his younger brother and was holding back as much as he could to not snap at him. He knew his brother couldn't help it and was trying to be as sensitive as possible about it. "Break it off and then ill have a talk with you." Romano moved to go to his room when he heard the plate fall and break on the floor. He turned to see his brother red faced with tears streaming from his eyes.

"Im not going to Romano. You're just jealous cause I have someone and you don't. There's a reason im obviously the better half of Italy. Youre just an asshole about everything." Italy let out a fit. Romano was taken a back by his brother's outburst but soon couldn't hold back his own anger.

"Listen here you stupid bastard, you don't talk to me like that. And me jealous? Ill be honest yes I am jealous but not for your stupid boyfriend. Im jealous because youve always had everything and everyone alway surrounded you while I didnt have shit to my name except the meaning that so explained me perfectly. To ruin, while your name means happiness. Thats total bull shit. While I'm here trying my best everyone ignores me. Yet when you do the exact same thing you get all the praise. Sometimes I wish you didn't exist, you just get in my way. No one seems to notice that I'm Italy as well. I was the first Italy but you took the name from me so now im just Lovino, Romano fucking Vargas. I dont see what makes you so damn perfect anyways. So you can paint well and youre always happy, at least im not some whiney stupid little faggot that cant even tie his own shoes"

Italy looked at a crying Romano shocked. He never imagined his brother to ever feel that way about him. He felt guilty and wanted to apologize but he wasn't sure for what. Before he said anything Romano ran out the door and slammed it shut leaving Italy alone in the house.


	3. Chapter 3

Romano's pov

That stupid bastard how dare he. I hate him so much! No matter how much I try I will always be hated Romano, and he will always be lovable italy.

I forgot my phone on the table and my jacket. It's pretty cold and I dont have anywhere to go. Guess ill just take a walk in the park.

Feliciano's pov

Fratello left. It's all my fault. Maybe hes right, maybe I shouldn't have been born.

I went into my room and layed down. I dont feel like talking to Germany about this. Fratello will just get mad. How long has he felt this way about me? I know! Ill check his diary.

Normal pov

Feliciano looked through Romanos bookshelf for his diary. When he found it he pulled it out and opened it while he sat down on the bed.

"Dear diary, Stupid Spain is away again and theres a thunderst33orm. Im really scared, why do I always have to be alone? Spain probably wont ever come back for me anyway." Feliciano felt pity for his brother. He skipped afew pages and read again.

"Dear diary, I drew a picture today, but before I showed it to Spain he went to tell Feliciano his drawing was really good. I saw it and it looked better than mine so I ripped mine and threw it away. Why cant I draw like him?"

Feliciano read a few more realizing that ever since they were kids he always got in the way of his brother's happiness. Maybe his brother did hate him, maybe he should just step away. He read one last one, a more recent entry.

"Dear diary,

I did it. I finally got my brother back. I'm so happy I have him back. He may be more annoying now and seems dumber than before. But it's okay, I will still always love my little brother. Through all my envy of him I've come to realize why I love him too. No one will take him away from me again. I haven't felt complete in so long. We are one again and I wouldn't want it any other way."

Feliciano closed the book. "Im sorry fratello. Ill move away now so you can be happy. You've been such a great brother."

Romano sat on the park bench sulking. He definitely went too far. He can already imagine the Italian crying alone in the house. He loved his brother deep down and couldn't stand to see him upset but the stupid German wurst started this. In the middle of sulking he heard someone call out to him "Romano, that you? What are you doing out here so late?" Romano looked up to see America standing in front of him with a worried look. "Go away bastard, I'm sulking"

"Well you should have at least brought a jacket." Said America taking a seat next to him. "Wanna talk about your issue?" Seeing as he had no one else to talk to Romano decided to tell America after all.

"Yeah dude, you both went too far. You need to talk this out together." "What am I supposed to say? Its not easy to explain to him why I said it. You dont understand at all." Complained Romano. "Sure I do. Me and my brother fight all the time, but in the end we always buy each other ice cream and apologize. Just try it im sure he will forgive you." Romano thought about it before nodding and hugging the American. "Grazie bastard. Ill do it right now." The American hugged back tightly and let go to watch the Italian run off.

Romano stopped at the store to buy his brother some strawberry gelato before heading home. His heart pounded in his chest as he opened the front door. "Feliciano?" He called out. "I need to talk to you, listen I'm really sorry for everything I said." He walked to the door of his room where he heard his brother drop something. He ignored it and continued. " Look I wont get mad for the potato bastard, I just want to talk things out and say I'm sorry. Look I even brought you gelato." He heard struggling on the other side of the door and began to get worried. He opened the door and felt his heart drop and his blood ran cold. He found his brother hanging by a rope struggling.

He ran up to him and tried to untie the rope before grabbing the pocket knife he had and cut down the rope he was tied to. Feliciano hit the ground and was already unconscious. Romano ran to him and started crying out to his brother. What should he do? This is all his fault what should he do? He grabbed his brother's phone and dialed the first person he could think of.

Germany picked up his phone expecting to hear Italy crying over something as usual. "Germany! Please help!" He heard sobs over the phone but they weren't Italy, they were Romano's. "Romano? What happened?" "Germany you have to come help him. Please come help I dont know what to do!" Germany became deeply worried as he heard a crying Romano calling him for help and calling him Germany instead of a bastard. "Im on my way now Romano." Germany hung up and hurried toward the italian's house. When he arrived though afew hours later, he didnt hear Italy's or Romano's cries. He heard singing. Romano was singing . He followed the beautiful voice towards Italy's room and listened through the crack on the door. After hearing for afew seconds he opened the door and felt his heart shatter. He watched as a trembling Romano sat on the floor and held tightly to his lifeless brother. As he got closer he saw how pale romano had become and still had tears falling from his blooshot eyes as he muttered sorries. He sat down and teared up as he hugged the trembling romano who refused to let go of his brother.

The rest of the night was a blur. Romano woke up with a high fever in Germany's house at 3 in the afternoon. He had a headache as he tried to remember what happened the night before. As memories started to flood in he felt his heart ache more than ever. He screamed and began to cry as he remembered his brother's face before they took his body out of his grasp. The door flew open as Spain, Germany and Prussia rushed in. Spain held onto Romano trying to comfort him while the two brothers watched from the door. Germany felt a pit in his stomach. His eyes began to water as he watched the last half of Italy cry for his yonger brother. His lover. He stepped out and went into his room and closed the door. Prussia watched him walk away, but didn't see him come out until the next day.


	4. Chapter 4- Lovino's song to Feliciano

Lovino's song to Feliciano

Romano realized it was too late by the time Germany hung up. Why? It was all his fault. He did this to his little baby brother. Why couldn't it have been him instead?

After what felt like days of crying he had all forgotten about Germany. He held his baby brother and softly began to sing to him like he used to when Feliciano would have nightmares.

"The Atlantic was born today, and ill tell you how. The clouds above opened up, and let it out."

He moved the hair from his brothers face.

"I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere when the water filled every hole.

And thousands upon thousands made an ocean, making islands where no island should go... oh no."

Romano held his brother tighter

"Most people were overjoyed. They took to their boats.

I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat.

The rhythm of my footsteps crossing floodlands to your door have been silenced. Forevermore."

Romano tensed as he heard slight foot steps but sang anyways for his brother as he held him tighter.

"And the distance is quite simply much too far me to row. It seems much farther than ever before. Ooh noo"

Romano teared up again as he sang with more feeling now.

"I need you so much closer. I need you so much closer. I need you so much closer. I need you so much closer. I _need_ you so much closer. I NEED YOU SO MUCH CLOSER"

Romano began to sob as he sang and Germany walked in. He held onto to his brother not wanting anyone to take him away.

The rest of the night blurred as his brother was eventually taken away from a protesting italian. Germany felt the need to watch him for the night so he took him to his home and let him sleep in the guest room. He called the spaniard the next morning who came in a rush and listened to what had happened. Soon enough Romano woke up and Germany couldn't bear to see the resemblance of the two and decided to stay alone for the rest of the day

 **Author note: just an extra. The song is transatlanticism by death cab for cutie. I thought of doing what sarah said but the hospital theme didnt fit well for the scene. Thanks for reading and please tell me if you enjoyed it so far**


	5. Chapter 5- a boss's fight

Romano sat with his head on his hands. How many drinks did he have? 6? 7? He lost count while he told his story. "My fratellino will still be here if it weren't for me." "Im sure there was much more going on with Italy than just that, he wouldn't kill himself over something like that. Maybe there was something bigger that made him do it." Germany tried to comfort the small italian before he broke down in drunken tears. They sat in silence until they heard a familiar voice walking towards them.

"Well look at that. West got the badger to come out of his hole!" Prussia sat down in the empty chair as Spain pulled up another next to Romano. "Hola, I see you finally decided to go out for a bit. How are you feeling?" Spain shot a worried smile towards the buzzed Italian. "Oye bastard, you're interrupting my flirting, there's a gorgeous bella over there and you're blocking my view." "Kesesese, what do you want with a girl when the awesome me is right in front of you!" Prussia went around Spain to grab hold of a protesting Romano.

Spain looked over to Germany who sat awkwardly as the two next two him fought each other. Why would Romano come out to drink with him so suddenly. The spaniard had tried really hard to get Romano out of the house but never succeeded. Yet here he was with the person he hated most. How did he do it? Was there something going on between the two of them?

"Is something wrong?" Germany's question shook spain out of his train of thought and noticed all three of them had been looking at him for at least afew seconds. "No I was just lost in thought." He smiled. "You're kidding 'tonio, you don't ever think!" The Italian replied with a laugh. 'Hes drunk' they all thought. "Romano-chan is so cute when he's drunk, huh west?" Asked the Prussian while poking Germany's arm. 'Why would he ask Germany instead of me?' Spain kept looking. "Huh? Why would you ask me of all people?" "Because I already know Spain's answer. I wanna hear yours, just look at him!" Prussia grabbed Romano's chin lightly and turned it so his brother can see. He had a deep blush and a small scowl.

Spain watched suspiciously as Germany turned a light shade of pink and began to stutter a no as he looked away. But then, he swore the damn albino was testing his patience. "Look again, west. Roma can be really cute." Germany looked back and saw Prussia giving long slow strokes to that one curl. Germany turned a deep red as he watched Romano's blush grow and he wiggled under the Prussian's touch and let out soft wimpers.

"Stop fucking touching him." The two Germans stopped and turned to the angry spaniard who sat staring at them with blood lust. Now he understood, they just used him as a play thing. His blood boiled with the thought of those disgusting Germans touching and teasing his little helpless Romano. "Calm down Spain I was only joking." Prussia put his hands up in surrender. The look spain gave him made his blood run cold. "He's not a toy, you don't just play with him." Spain stood up and was face to face with Prussian. Germany stood as well in case a fight started up. "And you'll be damned if you think you can lay your perverted hands all over MY Lovino." Prussia didn't want to risk saying the bad thing, he didn't want to risk his long time best friend. But oh after such a remark like that he just couldn't help himself.

"Really? Such a shame then cause I cant tell you how many times I already fucked him." Spain grabbed Prussia by the collar and swung him over his shoulder and onto the floor before stomping on his face. "I'll fucking kill you Prussia, better fucking confess before you go to hell." Spain climbed on top of the prussian and began to punch him in the face. Well he risked it already, might as well go all the way. "I can't say I'm in regrets, hes just so obedient and cute when hes sucking me off or taking me all the way." Spain lifted the prussian slightly before head butting him hard and knocking him out. He grabbed Romano and left the bar still as angry yet satisfied with the beating he gave the Prussian. Germany sighed as he picked up the bloody and bruised prussian and carried him off home.


	6. Chapter 6- a day with boss

Romano woke up with a throbbing headache as the light shone brightly through the window. He sat up and looked around. He was in spain's house wearing some of spain's pajama pants and a large shirt. He got up and wondered to the kitchen for a glass of water and saw spain cooking breakfast. "Spain?" "Oh hey Roma, there's medicine in the cabinet. You must feel awful." Spain watched as a tired Romano swallowed the pill and headed for the cups. "Sorry for bringing you here, I couldn't find your key and the door was locked." Romano let out a sigh as he sat down. Great he lost the key to his house. "What happened to your face?" Romano looked closer as spain tried to hide his face. "Oh just hit myself while trying to get you home, by the way, when did you get the tattoo on your back?" Spain quickly changed the subject.

"Hmm? I got it two days after the funeral" spain set a plate of food down in front of Romano on the table. "It's beautiful, where did you find the picture for it?"..Romano grew quiet and looked down before answering soflty. "Feliciano painted it." Spain bit his lip. He felt guilty for even asking. Romano had been looking so much better and now he looked upset again.

Romano's flashback

"Feli, I'm home, where are you?" Romano walked through the door with bags on both arms and was instantly hugged by a giddy brother. "You promised today," he said giving his brother a prized smile before Romano sighed and put the bags down. "Si I did. Now lets get this over with." Feliciano pulled his brother into their art studio and sat himself behind the isle and canvas and grabbed the paint brush. Romano sat down on the stage in front of his brother. "How's this?" Romano gave a signature 'draw me like one of your french girls' pose while Feliciano laughed. "Ve~ Fratello take this seriously" Italy said as romano sat back and crossed his arms in his usual pose with his usual scowl. Feliciano opened his hazel eyes and looked intently before picking up the brush and giving long strokes to the canvas.

Romano watched in awe as his brother so intently stared at the canvas while he painted. Romano loved seeing Feliciano paint because it was the only time he ever looked concentrated. Sure he was jealous of his brother's talent but he just couldn't hate him. Pretty soon Feliciano stopped. Looked at his canvas one more time before giving a content nod and went back to his usual smile and closed eye waving his brother over to see his painting.

Romano walked over and stopped in his tracks when he saw the painting. He looked over it amazed before looking at his brother who looked pleased with his work. He hit Feliciano on the back of the head. "Ve~ Fratello that hurt, why did you hit me?" "What is that?! I sat there for hours and you didnt even paint me!" Italy gave a bright smile. "I think I captured you perfectly fine fratello." Romano looked at the painting again. "Im not a deer Feliciano." "Ve~ Its not physical! Its symbolic!" "Symbolic for what?" "It represent power, like you're attitude, but also sensitivity which you have alot of. The deer is the best description of you Fratello." Romano looked back at the painting. It was beautiful really. "Can I keep this? I want to put it on my wall." Feliciano looked at his brother in shock before hugging him tightly. "Of course you can, next time you paint me and I'll hang it up." "Ill paint you as a bug, because you always bug me." Romano snickered. "Ve~ Fratello that wasn't funny at all."

Present time

"Romano?" Spain's voice pulled him out of his flashback and saw the worried look on his face. Romano smiled lightly at the spaniard. "Yeah it looks good right? I had the tattoo artist put some of Feliciano's ashes into the ink so it can still be somewhat of his painting, look he even got his signature spot on." Romano took off the shirt and let spain run his fingers over the tattoo. He was surprised at how quickly romano recovered from his depression. Maybe he was starting to accept his brother's death and move on. "Romano aren't you a bit pale? Youre really thin too. I know lets go pluck tomatoes the sun and fresh air will bring back your color and the tomatoes will be delicious." Romano changed into shorts and grabbed a straw hat before joining spain outside to enjoy the tomato fields for the first time in 40 years.

When the sun began to set the two went inside to snack on the tomatoes as they made small talk. However the longer Spain stared at Romano, the more he thought of what Prussia said. He couldn't stand it anymore and had to ask the Italian about it. "Romano, did you sleep with Prussia?" Romano dropped the tomato he was eating and turned a bright red. "W-what? N-no. Who said that bastard?" Spain looked at Romano and felt his heart shatter. He was such a bad liar. "Can you at least tell me about it? He didn't force you did he?" Spain asked with a sad expression.


	7. Chapter 7- a sinful act

A week after the funeral

Spain sighed heavily. "I know monsieur, I too am still down" France said as he rubbed his friend's back. "Yeah and west hasnt been himself either. The funeral was really depressing." Prussia drank his beer while they all reflected on the event. "I wonder if Roma is okay." Spain grabbed onto his french friend as he thought of the poor italian. "He was the one who found Italy and cut him down. It must have been traumatizing for him." The Frenchman replied. "Austria has been taking him food. He said when he comes back to bring him more, he hasnt even touched the previous plate. He doesnt eat at all." The three sighed. "I know mon ami! Lets visit him! We can bring him food and lots of wine, if we can get him a little drunk maybe he will eat." The spaniard sat up and smiled. "Buen idea francey-pants! Ill bring him lots of tomatoes, what about you Gil?" " kesesese I'll bring my awesome self and some awesome beer." It was agreed they will visit him tomorrow afternoon and help him feel better.

The next day they met at the italian's front door and walked in without knocking and set everything on the table. "This is great, I'll go find him" said France as he stood up from the couch. "France maybe I should go, you'll just scare him." Spain stood up and walked upstairs and looked through each room. "Romano? Where are you?" After not finding him he went to check into the bathroom that was in his room. He found him laying in tub with his head beneath the water, before spain had time to panic Romano opened his eyes and looked at spain from under the water and sat up to breathe. "Romano you scared me. Come on get dressed and come down we brought wine and food so you can cheer up abit." Romano stood up from the bath and spain felt his eyes tear up. He was so thin and pale, he could see his ribs poking out and his eyes looked so lifeless. He gave him a towel before leaving the room. "Please come down when youre done Roma."

Afew minutes later Romano trudged down the stairs dressed and sat down. He looked at the table of food while the trio stared at him. He reached for the wine and started to drink straight out of the bottle before France took it out of his hand. "Eat first then youll get some wine." France gave a rare scowl to Lovino who scowled back and took a tomato from the table as spain served him a plate. After afew drinks and jokes from the bad touch trio, Prussia realized he was the only one not drunk. Sometimes he hated not being a light weight. Pretty soon France and Spain were cuddled up asleep on the couch. "Prussia, you can use the guest room." Romano said with his usual scowl. Maybe he wasnt drunk after all. "Danke, how are you feeling?" He gave a nervous laugh not knowing what to say. "Like dying, how's Germany?" He said while leading Prussia to the guest room. "Hes not doing so good. But we were more worried about you. We wanted you to at least eat abit." Romano was shocked to hear this. They were worried? Why? He looked at the prussian who was now stepping into the room when he felt the alcohol taking effect badly. He went up to the Prussian and kissed him.

Implied smut- skip if you dont want to read

Prussia stood shocked before kissing back more passionately. They kissed until Romano pulled back for air. Prussia saw the small Italian with a blush on his face as he panted for air. This is so wrong and he shouldn't take advantage of the drunk italian after everything that just happened. But as he leaned in for another kiss Prussia couldn't help but pull the Italian closer and deepen the kiss. As he tangled his fingers in the Italian's hair he happened to brush the weird curl and earned a gasp from the smaller man. He pulled it lightly again experimentally and this time got a moan. He kept tugging it lightly and couldn't help but enjoy watching Romano squirm and gasp every time he tugged on it. Romano began to unbutton Prussia's shirt but was stopped suddenly. He looked at the prussian who looked at him sympathetically before saying, "are you absolutely sure you want to do this?" Romano nodded and felt the prussian lift him up onto the bed and kissed his neck while taking off both of their clothes. He sat up and looked at Romano underneath him. He was so thin he could see his bones stick out. Romano became self conscious as Prussia continued to stare and sat up to turn away with his back to him. "Dont stare, I know I look horrible." The prussian was surprised to see him so vulnerable and sensitive. He looked at the tattoo on his back before pressing kisses on his spine and up to his ear. "Romano, youre so beautiful, please let me see all of you." The prussian kissed him passionately before laying him down and continued. He felt wrong about doing this to a drunk depressed Romano, but he loved the way the Italian whimpered and panted underneath him with a deep blush spread across his face. Romano woke up the next morning with pain shooting all across his body and head. He turned over to see a naked sleeping Prussia next to him. He sat up and noticed his body and neck were stained with kiss marks from the night before. He got up and got dressed before the others found him with the naked prussian. He cant say he regretted what he did but also didn't exactly enjoy it. Nights like that continued for some time. The prussian would come and pepper him with love marks whenever the Italian would tell him too. He would bring flowers and tease him with words like "I love you" but Romano never found himself ever in love with the man. He just craved the gentle attention that the prussian gave to him.


	8. Chapter 8-romano and kiku

Afew days had passed since the bar incident. Spain had only hugged the italian after his confession about Prussia. It didnt bother him. They hadnt slept together in 30 years. He went home the following day and had to jump through the window just to get in.

It was Tuesday and he had a meeting with Japan. The silent man was always so strange. He looked in the mirror one last time. It was the first time in a few years since he had to leave his home for 5 days. He double checked his things before heading to the airport. He met with Japan at the airport when he arrived to Japan. He hoped onto the car and watched the small man drive carefully down the streets. "Youre one of the slowest drivers I have ever known." Japan looked at Romano before looking back at the road and smiled. "Oh yes, I forgot italians are crazy divers." Romano looked at him questionably. "I got into a car with Feliciano-san." Romano smiled to himself and didnt make another comment. Romano went straight to guest bedroom when they arrived and fell asleep. The next three days consisted of long meetings and stuffy business suits. On Friday he woke up and was greeted with the scent of coffee. Romano didn't think Japan liked coffee. He made his way into the kitchen to find noone there, just a note and the coffee.

'Romano-san please come to the meeting room at 12." He drank some of the coffee before getting dressed. Romano looked in awe as he decided to walk to his destination. Japan was very different than Italy. When arrived in the meeting room he was surprised to see England with Japan. "Ah, hello Romano. Fancy seeing you here." The English man smiled. "Good evening bastard, I see you are splendidly garbage" he took a seat across from the Brit and smirked. Through all the years of hardship, he found his strangest friendship to be the one he had with the British gentleman. He was the only person who ever threw insults back at him, and he liked that about him. "Today we are playing a very popular game in Japan, Romano. We are just waiting for Germany-san." Game? He thought they were supposed to have a meeting. The door swung open and interrupted his thoughts as said man came in holding a giant box of alcohol and Japanese snacks with Prussia following behind. "Yo potatoes, youre finally here" Romano watched as germany and japan set the alcohol on a table. Japan smiled as he turned on the game while prussia raided the beer. "So what game is this?" He asked England as he took a beer. "Its karaoke, I hope you're an okay singer pasta breath" England smirked. Was that a challenge? Romano never backs down from a challenge. "Oh yes we now have a version that comes with a dance if youre up for it. So who wants to go first?" Japan moved the headset towards England who gladly took it.

Romano watched as england picked through the Japanese songs. England? Dancing? A Japanese folk song? No way. He chugged half his beer and continued watching as he chose a song called 'wave'. Romano was pleasantly surprised to learn the song was in fact upbeat. England danced and sang along to music, which romano understood no words to it, until it ended. "Wow, look at you old man, dancing like the young kids" Romano teased as England sat down feeling proud of himself. "Romano-san would you like to do a duet? There are afew songs in English. " Romano looked at japan who was handing him a headset. He gladly took it and they chose a song.

Echo-gumi

Romano took the center of the room with Japan a few steps behind him as the music started. Romano started the song with a serious tone.

"The clock stopped ticking, forever ago, how long have I been gone. I dont know. I cant get a grip but I cant let go, there wasnt anything to hold onto at all.

Japan picked up the next verse and he moved next to the Italian in a spin. "Why cant I see? Why cant I see? All the colors that you see. Please can I be? Please can I be, colorful and free.

The two took their positions and the rest of the group watched them very interested. They both sang the next part in a harmozing tone.

"What the hell's going on. Can someone tell me please. Why im switching faster than the channels on t.v."

"Im black"

"Then im white" Romano completed before going back in unison.

"No something isn't right. My enemys invisible I dont know how to fight."

The germans and British were amazed with how well and smoothly they both danced. It was mesmerizing watchimg how perfectly they danced the song.

Romano picked up the next verse "the trembling fear is more than I take, when im up against. The clone in the mirror." Japan instantly took over "echo - o-o-oh" the two continued to dance the song in perfect timing and even had second long solos before the next verse came on. Japan starting this time "im gunna burn my house down, into an ugly black, im gunna run away now and never look back." He did complicated hand movements to this verse. He repeated it once more before Romano joined in with the same verse timed slightly after japans repeating the dance to fit his timing. They stopped in a pose before starting in unison again with the first verse. When the song ended the remaining 3 clapped at their performance. They continued to play and drink challenging each other in a drunken state. Eventually it got to a song where all 5 of them were just moaning into microphone and doing dirty dances so they decided to call it a night. Romano had to admit he had an amazingly day. The following day they all went sight seeing with japan and took a bath together and chatted. Romano was almost upset he had to go so soon when he was finally having fun. When he arrived home he was surprised to see a video of him, Prussia and japan singing and dancing to the song "koshitantan." Even worse. Most nations were commenting on it like crazy. "Feliciano youre laughing at me from heaven arent you?" He asked to the large painting on the wall.

 **authors note: just a fun chapter to give Romano a break.**

 **The songs were: wave. Echo. Pomp and circumstance. And koshitantan**


	9. Chapter 9 - a song to the Lilys

Romano had to admit. It took him years until he got used to not having his bubbly brother with him. For the first few years it hurt when anyone mentioned his brother. And it hurt when afew started to call him the new Italy. And he hated when the prussian called him Italy during their play times. How dare that bastard think of his sweet innocent brother while doing something so wrong and disgusting. The first 5 years of his strange relationship with the prussian made me him realize that he was the biggest hypocritical asshole out there. The very thing that started this whole mess was exactly what Romano was doing. But eventually he couldn't help but think 'God? Fuck that shit. If there was a god, he wouldn't have let this happen to my brother.'

There would be times Romano couldn't take it anymore and wanted to go apologize to his brother. But then remembered his boss would beat him to death and back before he had the chance. Very slowly however, the thought of dying slowly left him. He stayed occupied with doing paper work or organizing all the papers he had into files and binders before placing them into the shelf. On the occasion he would play the violin. Though his talent with painting wasnt as good as his brother's, he found himself with a natural talent of playing the violin. Feliciano brought it from Austrias house when they became unified and Romano was really curious about it.

Flashback

"Ve~ Ve~" Romano walked past the living room to see his brother struggling to pick up a large box. He walked up to him and picked it up with a huff before putting putting onto his shoulder and carrying it into his brother's new bedroom. "Ve~ Fratello you're so strong. Grazie!"

"What do you even have in that thing." Romano said sitting down. Italy opened the box to reveal a case and lots of books on music. He looked at case strangely. It looked similar to a guitar case, but as he had seen Spains guitar plenty of times voted, that was too small to be a guitar. "Ve~ Austria packed my violin," cheered the italian as he took out the case. Romano looked at his brother shocked. "You can play a violin bastard?" Feliciano's smile fell into a small pout before placing it onto his shoulder and starting to play a tune Romano couldn't even distinguish because of the amount of mistakes. "Ve~ no I can't. And thats with 50 years of practice." His brother flinched at thats statement. "Want to try? Here sit up and hold it like this." Feliciano showed Romano the proper way to hold it and how to press the right places for certain notes. Romano carefully experimentally ran the bow over each string before memorizing the sound each made. He closed his eyes and began to play a small elegant tune. He felt the vibration of the notes from the violin o his fingertips ad felt so in control of the way the notes did just as he wanted. He loved the way it felt to play this instrument. An annoying "Ve~" brought him out of his enigmatic feeling as he stopped to remember his brother was watching. "Youre amazing Fratello. Why don't you keep it?. " Romano looked at his brother shocked. "Are you sure? Austria gave it to you." Feliciano hugged his brother tightly. "Yes I'm sure, I'll never be as good as you, besides I don't like to play it." Romano couldn't help but give a small smile. "Grazie bastard."

End of flashback

Romano smiled as he picked up the violin, that was so long ago. He closed his eyes as he began to play one of his brother's favorite peices, lilium. As he played and sang along and an idea came to his head. He put down the instrument and went into the art studio. He placed a blank canvas on the isle and picked up the paintbrush. He spent an hour of doing elegant brush strokes trying to perfect his painting as only one thing ran through his mind. Feliciano. Romano was so absorbed into his painting he didn't notice a certain spaniard watching quietly at the door frame. When he finished he stepped back and looked at his painting and smiled his clothes and skin covered in paint. "I think I captured you pretty well fratellino. Pure, in a world of hatred." White Lilys with light pink and yellow highlights stood out on the dark blue and black background.

"It's beautiful Lovi." Romano instinctively punched at the voice behind him. He turned to see Spain crouched over clutching his cheek. "Oww Lovi, that really hurt boss." "You scared me bastard! Dont just sneak behind me! Why are you even here?!" Spain pouted and sat down a nearby stool. "Lo siento Lovi, I came to see how you were doing but when I came in I heard music and I didnt want to distract you so I waited for you to finish but then you ran off and started to paint. You looked so happy while painting that I decided to just watch." Romano grew red as he realized spain heard him sing and play the violin. "Dont you know not to snoop around I other people's houses you creep?" Spain gave his best puppy face before following Romano to the living room. "I didn't know you can play the violin," spain said as he sat next to the Italian. "Spain, I think im ready to clean up Feliciano's room, can you help bastard? Im going to ask Germany and japan to help as well." Spain looked at him shocked. In 40 years, noone had seen the italian's room since Romano always kept it locked away. "Yes of course Lovino." Romano smiled, after so much regret, he was finally starting to move on. Maybe he will a find a diary or a note that will say why he decided to commit suicide?

 **author note: if you dont know the song lilium, I recommend listening to it. I can imagine Romano painting while this song played.**


	10. Chapter 10- a helping hand, or 8

It was saturday and Romano was cooking breakfast for everyone currently in his home. The cheerful spain who was helping him cook. The quiet Japanese who sat awkwardly in the living room with the stiff German and his egoistic brother prussia. Why were they all gathered today? Romano had asked them for help to clean out Feliciano's room. He had not seen the room at all in the past 40 years and was abit frightened. The very room in which his younger brother took his life because of his careless words.

After they finished breakfast they followed Romano upstairs where he unlocked the door and opened it painfully slow, afraid he may see his dead brother in there. He turned the lights on and looked around before entering. Despite noone being inside for years he found the room to be a huge mess considering his brother truly was a slob. The rest walked in to be amazed with the huge mess. Spain lifted up a dirty plate from the floor before making the first statement since walking in. "Wow Roma, and here I thought you were the messy one." "Ive cleaned up my act bastard!" Retorded the italian. "Well we better get started if we want to finish everything in one day. Let's begin, no fooling around." Germany said as the rest did a solute and a "yes, sir." Romano felt strange being inside the room after so many years, but he didn't feel depressed andhe was glad he had people to help him out. Spain and Japan placed the things from Feliciano's shelf into boxes as the germans carried off the bed down into the basement. Romano carefully took all the paintings and placed them into the corner before putting his clothes into boxes. They all worked to clean up the room, placing the boxes of clothes and blankets into the closet and dusting the desk and shelf while Spain picked up the trash and threw it out. By the time they finished cleaning it was late and they were all hungry. They looked at the room which now only had a desk in the corner and a shelf on the opposite wall with afew books and a vase and afew of his brother's paintings on the wall. "Just afew more things and we are done," Prussia said with a smirk. Romano watched Germany bring in a box before placing it on the floor and the rest started to pull out items. Japan went to place a small picture frame of Italy with Romano together on the desk. Though they were beaten up with messy hair and covered in dirt, they smiled at the camera, arms wrapped around each other as Italy gave a peace sign. Germany and Prussia placed Italy's medals and ribbons onto frames and onto the wall and spain carefully placed a bouquet of white lilies into the vase. Romano began to tear up as he watched them. While the others were occupied Japan walked up to him. "Romano-san, I thought you might want this. Its Italy's diary, dont worry I didn't read it." He held up the book for Romano to take before being pulled into a hug by a now crying italian. Japan awkwardly hugged back before Spain and Prussia joined in as well. After they all pulled away Romano wiped his tears and smiled at the group. "Grazie bastards, you don't know how much this means to me." After a few more seconds of comfort they left the room and headed for the living room. "Man im hungry, lets just order a pizza." The Prussia said as he threw himself onto the couch. "Pizza sounds good, lets all pitch in for afew boxes," the spaniard agreed. They all placed money onto the table and voted spain and Prussia to pick it up. The usually quiet Japan was the first to speak up after the two had left. "You seem to be feeling alot better Romano-san, im glad to see you back to your usual self." "Ja, I admit we were all abit worried when you wouldn't leave the house." Romano stared at the two as if they had just slapped him. They were actually concerned about him? "Ill admit I didn't want to see you the day of the meeting but you had looked so pale and thin I became a bit worried. You looked like you hadnt slept in days so I had to take you outside for once. Im sure Italy would have wanted me to." The German said, once again shocking the italian. Had he really looked so malnourished? He admitted he hadnt been out in so long and his apetite had decreased, there was also the lack of sleep he had due to nightmares but he didnt think he looked any different. He indeed didnt notice himself lose any weight. He had been too distracted in his lack of motivation to go out to socialize that he never noticed how badly he had been treating himself the past 30 years. "Italia-san must be very happy to see you doing so well." Japan gave a reassuring smile as he smiled back. "I also noticed you smile alot more, and you're less violent and easy to anger, you havent been beating me up lately." Romano looked at the German before answering honestly. " I took Italy away from you because I was jealous and thought he would be punished for being gay and then i slept with your brother when I wanted some attention, proving im a hypocritical asshole." Romano stayed straight faced as the others began to realize what he had said, their eyes widened and began to flush red while waiting for the italian to say he was joking. But it never came. Germany was shocked, he had heard his brother mention it during the fight with spain, but he didn't think it actually happened. "Vhat ze hell? You actually slept with him?" Germany finally spoke up and Romano only nodded with a straight face. Japan turned a deep red as he couldn't help but imagine the two in their actions. Before either can say something else spain and Prussia walked in, spain holding the pizzas and Prussia holding a box of beer. They all ate and chatted while beginning to get drunk. "You guys can spend the night if you want, I only have one spare room and a couch so two of you will have to share a bed and another can sleep with me." Romano announced. The prussian wrapped an arm around Romano, clearly drunk, "I call sleeping with Romano, just like old times right?" He winked at the italian as Japan began to blush and Spain glared daggers at him. "Bruder and me can share a bed, and Romano can choose either Japan or Spain to sleep with." Germany pulled Prussia off of the italian as the prussian began to whine. " I'll take the couch, Japan. You go ahead and sleep with Lovi."spain said smiling at the small man. "Ah arigato, spain-san" he replied as Romano began to take out blankets for spain and the germans. Japan slipped into the bed awkwardly along with Romano who had his back to him and already fast asleep. He layed down facing the opposite way and fell asleep.

 **Author note:** sorry if this story is too confusing. I know ive been jumping around alot and its hard to keep up but I appreciate you taking the time to read my story. Next chapter will continue this one along with someone's dream.


	11. Chapter 11- Dreams and fluffy pancakes

Romano stood in a garden filled with white lilies. The moonlight reflected onto the flowers and made them seem as they glowed in the darkness that surrounded him. Romano layed down in the feild of flowers and enjoyed the moonlight and the scent of the flowers that surrounded him. The flowers seemed to whisper to him in a language he didn't know. He closed his eyes and listened closely as the whispers turned into a song that felt so nostalgic and comforting. He had never heard the song before, but couldn't help but to hum along in sync with the music that sounded so foreign to him but yet so familiar, as if he knew it by heart. He felt a gentle touch on his forehead and he slowly opened his eyes to see his younger brother sitting beside him, smiling down at him.

"Fratello, you shouldn't stay here like that, its not good for you." Romano bolted up right and tackled his brother into a hug. "Feli! Feliciano it's really you! Ive missed you so much! Im so sorry for what I did to you, my baby fratellino. I regret what I said to you so much. Its all my fault you left." Romano began to cry lightly as he held onto his brother not wanting to ever let go. "Fratello, it's not your fault. Don't ever think that. It hurts me to see you so upset." The two hugged seemingly forever before Italy spoke up. "Are you happy, Fratello?" Romano looked at his brother sadly, "how can I be happy when I know youre gone." "But you have so many friends now, and they all care about you so much. Actually I think its about time you went back to them." "No, I want to stay here with you, or come back with me. Please." "Silly fratello, you can't stay and I can't go back. Im sorry fratello, but I will always be with you. Me and you create one, and death alone cannot take that away from us." Romano held his brother tightly as tears streamed down his face. "No Feliciano you can't just leave me, not again." He refused to let go, not this time, he finally has his baby Fratellino, he didn't want to loose him again. "We have to go now Fratello, this place isn't safe for either of us." Feliciano kissed his brother's forehead and slowly began to fade away. "No, no, no, no Feliciano not yet please." Romano only hugged harder as his brother faded and the flowers around them began to whither. "Ti amo, Fratello" was the last thing he heard before his brother was completely gone and he was alone in darkness. A voice called out to him and seemed to have been struggling because the voice sounded ragged and strained.

Germany woke up the next morning with his brother no longer in the bed. He got up and began to walk towards the bathroom before noticing the door to Romano's room wide open. He looked inside and was surprised to see Romano asleep with his arms wrapped around a sleeping Japan and snuggling with Japan's back. Who would've known Romano to be a cuddler when he slept, even more so Japan letting him. He couldn't help but smile and capture a picture before hearing a groan from the italian. Romano began to grip onto Japan's sides and pull him into a crushingly tight hold. Japan woke up and began to struggle out of Romano's grasp. "Romano, youre crushing me! Please let go." Romano stayed asleep and refused to let go of the small now suffocating Japanese. "Romano, I can't breathe. Romano. Romano!" The small italian shifted and began to wake up, he looked at the German standing over him before realizing he had Japan in a tight hug and quickly let go. Japan gasped trying to catch his breath while Romano turned red from embarrassment. "Sorry bastard. " Germany couldn't help but give a small chuckle before they all made their way downstairs where Spain was still asleep on the couch and Prussia was cooking breakfast. "Please dont burn my kitchen." Romano said walking over to see what he was making. "Calm down liebe, I make the most awesome pancakes ever!" Prussia gave a signature laugh as he poured blueberries over the remaining half of the batter. "Oh und I have a surprise for you liebe, im taking you somewhere special today." He winked at Romano who just rolled his eyes and poured himself some coffee. "And where is this special place? And if you say the bedroom I won't hesitate to put your face into the fire." The prussian laughed and wrapped his arms around the smaller man from behind. "It's a surprise," he said before nuzzling his face into Romano's neck and placing small pecks. Romano flushed pink before nudging him off and stuttering out a 'bastard' and going to sit down across japan and germany while the Prussian returned to the stove. Romano felt his heartbeat pounding quickly. Why? The Prussian had kissed him many times before and felt nothing, why now? He glanced back at Prussia and saw his fit figure through the black shirt he wore that heavily contrasted against his pale skin. The prussian turned to see Romano looking at him interestingly and sent him a cheerful smile, exposing fangs that he never noticed before. Romano blushed brightly before quickly turning away to see Japan smiling at him sweetly, like if he just saw a baby kitten napping. "Im going to wake up Spain." He said before standing up and walking to the living room. "What was that about?" "Mr. Germany you really can be clueless can't you?" Japan replied to the confused German.

"Oye bastard, time to get up. Come on breakfast is almost done." Spain pulled the blanket off from over his face and looked at Romano with tired eyes. "Oh, dios sent me an angel to wake me up." Spain sleepily sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Goodmorning lovi." Romano rolled his eyes and went back to the kitchen with a tired spain following behind. He sat down and Prussia set down plates with stacks of pancakes for each person. He poured a heavy amount of maple syrup on his stack before giving the bottle to Romano who sat in front of him. They all began to eat when Romano noticed Prussia was the only one that had chocolate chips in his pancakes. Romano couldn't help but be childish with his reaction since he was a huge chocolate lover. "Hey bastard why are you the only one with chocolate chip pancakes?! You didnt even bother to ask me if I wanted any?" Everyone looked surprised at the fuming Italian. Was he really angry over pancakes? "Im sorry liebe, I didn't think you would want any, here." The prussian got a piece onto his fork and held it up for Romano to eat. Romano happily leaned foward and ate it off the fork, getting syrup on his chin in the process. Prussia flushed as he watched the syrup slide down his chin and had to hold back to lean in and lick it off. He instead grabbed a napkin and began to wipe the italian's face. "Give me more," was Romano's only reply. Prussia smirked before feeding him again. "Of course, my liebe." Romano blushed slightly before letting the prussian to continue to feed him. "Eh? What's going on here? Liebe? No way, you can't have my Lovi! Boss does not approve, stay away Gil" spain complained playfully as he hugged Romano and began to rub his cheek against his former henchman's. "Hey bastard im trying to eat." They continued to eat while making small chat and teasing Prussia about being so flirty with Romano to which he would blush and wink towards Romano who would also blush in return.

 **Authors note: just some Prumano fluff and foreshadowing. Might make a side chapter later on the relationship between Romano and Prussia from when it started up to where its now leading. Again thanks for reading this far.**


	12. Chapter 12

The group of five sat in the car, Germany driving, Prussia in the front seat and giving directions while the rest made small chat in the back. Curiosity was killing Romano as he wondered where they were headed. Prussia promised a surprise and noone but he knew what it was. Germany parked the car before they all looked at the prussian strangely. "Uhm, Gil?" Spain was interrupted as Prussia began to explain why the hell they came to an animal shelter. "I was worried about Lovino being home alone all the time and thought a pet might help him feel less lonely. I was going to just bring a puppy but realized this was a better idea, Romano can choose from any and save the life of a helpless animal." "Bruder if you were really so worried and desperate to get him an animal we could have just tied you outside in his yard." Everyone began to laugh while Gil pouted and made his way out the car and into the building with the rest behind him. Romano would hate to admit, his heart had skipped afew beats when he heard the prussian say he was worried about him. The lady at the front let them inside to see the animals all inside cages and looking half dead. "How about a puppy Lovi?" Antonio stopped to look at a small dog in one of the cages as Germany and Prussia also looked at afew of the dogs. "No way, dogs are dirty and annoying." Romano huffed out before walking along to look at the other animals. "How about a cat Romano-san, they are always a popular choice. " Japan led Romano to the cat section and they began to look around. One cat caught his attention almost immediately.

A small white cat with light brown patches on it, it was a very chubby cat with honey colored eyes and a fly away curl. As he got closer the cat fell onto it's back and began to roll around in a playful way. "What an idiot cat, how can it be so happy when its locked into such a small cage." Romano looked at the cat with pity as it poked its paw out the bars. Japan joined him and instantly understood as to why that familiar looking cat caught his attention. "Why dont you hold it for a bit Romano, even if you don't adopt him im sure he would like to be pet." The lady came and passed the small cat to Romano who held it up and inspected it as if it were fragile china. "This is our most up-spirited cat, he'll be sure to brighten up any day. He was saved from an abusive owner and has been here for a little over a month." Romano looked at the small cat with sympathy. As he put the small animal to his chest it meowed and Romano knew this was the one he wanted. He didn't have to look at any other one to be sure. He and Japan filled out the paperwork for the adoption before joining the three who were still looking at the dogs.

Spain walked past cages until his eyes noticed a very strange looking white dog. He had never seen a dog that long before. "Hey look, this dog looks just like you Gil." Antonio smiled as Prussia looked over. "Toni ...I don't think that's a dog," he said plainly as the spaniard gave him a shocked look. "Eh? Then thats a weird looking cat." " It's a ferret, idiota." Spain turned to see Romano face palming while holding a carrier in the other hand. "So you found someone, can I see?" Romano pulled out the small cat and Antonio and Gilbert cooed at the small animal before Germany began to rush them out. They stopped by a pet store where they each bought something the cat needed, japan bought a small bed, Germany bought a litter box, Spain got a few toys and Prussia payed for the collar and license. The cat wore a collar with the italian flag colors on it and had a tomato shaped license with the name "Feli" inscribed onto it and a small tomato bell.

Romano thanked them once again as Japan and Spain left once they arrived to his home. "Our plane leaves tomorrow morning, I hope you dont mind if we stay one more night." Germany watched the italian cook dinner as he sat down trying to start a normal conversation. "Not a problem, just don't think I will always let you stay here when you want potato bastard." Germany thanked him and began to set the table when he saw his brother playing with the new cat. He had to admit the cat was rather adorable and in a way resembled the now dead italy.

He absently turned around, still lost in thought before crashing into the small italian and knocking him onto the floor, dropping glass cups that broke as soon as they hit the floor. "Romano, I'm so sorry." He reached to help the italian up from the floor only to have his hand smacked away. "Its fine bastard I got it." As Romano placed his hand back down a large shard of glass cut his palm. He hissed and held his hand as the blood began to run from the cut. Germany grabbed his hand firmly, as to not let the italian pull his hand away before examining the cut and placing his mouth over it. He silently sucked and licked over the wound while the italian tried to hide small hisses from pain. Eventually the blood stopped flowing out but Germany didn't pull away. He began to lick the wound before letting his tongue smoothly glide across Romano's palm and over his fingers. Romano turned pink and tried to pull his hand away. This was getting too weird and sexual. Germany continued to run his tongue between the fingers and over the wound. How can his hands be so small and smooth? He was able to get a small hint of the tomato sauce scent as he began to slide the fingers into his mouth bringing in the nostalgia of his cute little Italian lover. "Wait, stop!" The voice snapped Germany back into reality as he saw the blushing Romano in front him and his eyes beginning to water. He quickly pulled away and shamefully walked back to finish setting the table as Romano got up and began to pick up the broken glass.

After an awkward dinner Germany went straight to bed while Romano went to fill the tub to take a bath. He relaxed as he slipped inside until Prussia walked in with a smile, and a bottle of wine. Romano was too tired to complain and allowed the prussian to get into the hot water with him with the wine in hand. "This feels great, I don't normally take a long hot bath." He handed Romano the wine who gladly took it and began to drink. "Thank you bastard for the cat and for helping me with the room." "You don't have to thank me Romano, I'm always happy to help you out." Romano smiled towards him, he really wasnt so bad when he wasn't being a cocky asshole.

They talked, about nothing really and finished the bottle of wine. Romano looked at the Prussian as he told a story from when he was younger. His words were not even heard as he checked him out. He was so pale and long. Though it didn't show much when he was dressed, Prussia was very well fit. His body was well toned and built. Romano couldn't help but reach and slowly stroke at his body with only his finger tips. He stopped when he felt two hands grab onto his waist. He looked up and saw the prussian staring at him with a deep concentration, he looked so handsome with a serious face like that. He felt his heart beat begin to race as he looked into the mans bright red eyes that seemed to stare deeply into his mind. He watched the eyes slowly move foward and began to see not lust, but deep sentimental feelings in them.

He leaned in and felt his heart almost burst as the two slowly began to get into a very passionate and deep kiss. They pulled apart after what seemed like hours to catch some air. Romano panted for air while Prussia tangled his fingers into his dark brown hair. "I love you, Romano." The words had came so suddenly Romano didn't know how to react. Should he end things here before they went to far? However his mind became blank and all he can think to do is lean in for another kiss. After all, he couldn't think of many reasons to reject him now that he actually had feelings for him. He was pulled onto the Prussian's lap and began to crave his touch. He wanted the extasy only the prussian can give him with only afew strokes. Gilbert held Romano closely and peppered him with soft kisses as the younger moved to his own desire on top of him whimpering out the Prussian's name as he melted underneath each touch from his gentle hands and kissing him when he felt he couldn't hold in his voice anymore.

Germany layed in the room ashamed of what he had done to Romano. He knew italy was dead, yet he still thought of him as he ran his tongue all over Romano's hand. He heard small whimpers that sounded like Romano. He became worried that maybe Romano was having an episode and crying in the bathroom. He got up and silently made his way to the bathroom. He peeked through the slight crack from the open door expecting to see Romano crying. His eyes widened in shock when he saw the red faced whimpering Italian on top of his brother who was holding him tightly and kissing every reachable area of skin. He wanted to turn away and forget he ever saw this but his eyes stayed glued onto the small italian. He looked so different when he wasnt scowling or crying. He looked just like Feliciano. Even the faces of pleasure he made were the same, the same twitching curl that begged to be touched, and very similar sounds as well. He watched them and began to feel an uncomfortable pain in his lower region. He looked at Romano and could only think of his Italy whenever they would do it. He saw Prussia turn his head towards the door slightly before shushing the italian. "What?" "Nothing I just thought I heard something." Germany left back to the room as soon as the desperate gasps from the small italian began again. He closed the door and took care of his painful issue while thinking of his long gone lover before falling into a deep sleep.

The next morning Romano woke up cuddled tightly with the naked prussian in his bed. He didn't remember coming back to the bed at all and his body hurt badly, but he wasnt complaining. He was happy and content laying there with the prussian holding him so closely. He wouldn'mind if he woke up like this this everyday. His heart fluttered at the thought and whispered an "I love you" before he closed his eyes and fell back into a deep sleep.


	13. Chapter 13- Germany

Germany sat in front of the fire dressed in a black suit. It was three days ago that he found Romano sobbing over a lifeless Italy. Germany watched the fire crackle and remembered the days where he and Italy would sit by the warm fire and talked for hours. His heart began to ache. His mind wandered to Romano. How was he doing? After he woke up sobbing yesterday spain had taken him to stay with him for the night. Was he also thinking of Italy. Was Italy thinking? Was he in heaven watching them or did his mind cease to think and feel when his heart stopped? His thoughts were interrupted by footsteps coming towards him. He looked up to see his brother in a black suit and a sad look on his face. "West, lets go before we miss it." Germany stood up silently not looking at his brother at all. Gilbert drove after they arrived to Italy. The cold air bit at their exposed skin as they got out the car and went into the building where the funeral was taking place. It was almost 5 when they walked in and saw many countries already there dressed in black and a frown plastered onto their faces. Germany let his eyes wander around the room. There was france holding a bouquet of white roses, talking to england who held white daffodils. America sat with Japan and China who also held different white flowers. Austria craddled a crying Hungary. Switzerland carried a sleeping Lichtenstein who had tear stained cheeks. Afew others sat in silence not bothering to even say a word. Then his eye caught the undeniable curl. He saw Romano curled up on the floor shaking. He wore a black suit and tightly clutched a small stuffed bear and a single white Lily. Spain was crouched next to him rubbing his back while Romano cried. Germany walked up to him. Before he could say anything the ceremony began. They all took their spots as a few people carried the casket. Nations began to cry as they they put Italy's open casket into the room. Every nation put one flower from the bouquet into the casket with him, said farewell and put the remaning flowers beside the casket."Romano, why don't you sing one last song, to Italy. " Everyone stared at the German who had so suddenly interupted. Romano nodded and walked next to the open casket. His brother was showered In white flowers of everykind. He placed his flower behind his brother's ear and put the small bear beside the casket before placing a kiss on his forehead. He cleared his throat and began to sing. 'Yellow' by Coldplay. The rest was a blur to Germany. Italy was cremated into ashes, afterwards Romano was surrounded by countries who hugged him and gave their condolences. He faintly remembers him holding a little crying Lichtenstein who had placed a flower crown onto his head. The world cried that night. And even the skies of Italy wept heavily for two whole days.

Germany woke up on the following Saturday and came out of his room. He had been in bed since the funeral and his brother wasn't home. He shrugged it off and went to take a shower. After his shower he ate before grabbing afew beers and heading into his room. He drunkenly cried and fell asleep. The next day his brother returned around noon. "Where were you?" He asked the prussian. "Spain, France and I went to see Roma." He gave a frown before walking away. Something was up. "Is he really doing so bad?" Germany followed prussia into his room. "He was really thin, I guess he hadn't eaten at all. We got him to eat though and we all had afew drinks. And then later on we-" Prussia stopped and looked down, he had a blush across his face and his eyes began to water. "What?" Germany moved closer to his brother who only layed onto his bed and curled up. " I dont want to talk about it. I just want to sleep right now west." For the next few years Prussia would dissapear at random times and wouldnt come back until the next day, sometimes longer. He never knew where he went or why he would suddenly act strange when he would get back. Germany didn't feel the need to hide away anymore. He lived normally but it still felt strange without the bubbly italian with him and it still hurt him to think of or speak about him. He had seen Romano only during the World Meetings but tried to not look at him directly. It still hurt to look at him. He had heard that the italian never left his home only during meetings. Was he still so depressed? He had avoided the italian for as long as he possibly could.

It was 5 years after the death of Feliciano when Germany was home getting everything ready. He knew the day had to come someday but he still wasn't ready. The doorbell rang and he hurried to open it. His stomach turned as he looked at the small italian standing in his doorstep in a brown suit and a black suitcase and not a scowl, but eyes that looked as lifeless as Feliciano's the day he found them on the floor of the room.

The meeting ended very quickly with very few words spoken. He let him spend the night as it was getting late. He was making coffee when he heard sniffles coming from the living room. He walked out of the kitchen to see his brother holding onto Romano who sat curled up with only a large shirt covering him like a dress. He let them cuddle alittle longer before coming in and giving Romano a cup filled with the hot liquid. He couldn't help but pull him into a tight hug before going to his room. That night he heard heavy breathing and whimpering. He thought he was crying and let him have his moment. He woke up the next morning to find Prussia cuddling a sleeping Romano. He thought nothing of it.

The next few years he only saw Romano during meetings but they never fought. He still never went outside at all. Prussia had visited him on Christmas eve with spain and came back christmas morning to be with him Christmas day. He often baked Christmas cookies that he took him. However 15 years after the death of Feliciano, Prussia had stopped dissapearing. He had been gone for a whole week and when he came back he locked himself into the room for a whole week before returning to normal. He even stopped visiting Romano on Christmas. Germany was curious as to why but just assumed he told him to piss off.

25 years later he went to visit Romano for a meeting. He still wasnt comfortable with the italian but didn't really have a choice. After the meeting he took a glance at the italian. He was so pale and thin. The bags under his eyes seemed to be the only color on his face. He looked around the room and noticed how organized everything was. He felt proud that Romano did his work neatly, but he thought, how much is he working? Does he work instead of sleep? He voted to take him for a drink. Romano explained the fight he had with the italian before he committed suicide. Now he understood. Romano blamed himself and that's why he couldn't move on. He felt pity for him. But was it really even his fault? Only Italy can say. After spain and Gilbert came in he found himself watching the two break out into a fight when Prussia pushed spain's line. That fine line being Romano. He had felt shocked when he claimed to have slept with the italian and was too distracted to stop the fight. Also he didn't want to mess with an angry spain because he was scary. He voted his brother lying whe he saw him on the floor knocked out.

Afew days later he saw him again with Japan playing karaoke. His voice still never failed to surprise him and even more so, his dancing. However he noticed the italian was starting to look more cheerful.

Germany had been growing more and more frustrated with the lack of sexual activity he had the past few years. He had only ever slept with Italy but he was craving it more than ever. When he had seen a pained Romano on the floor bleeding with his mouth on his hand he just couldn't hold back anymore. The iron taste stuck in his mouth even after the blood stopped. He licked at Romanos hand until he saw him nearly crying. He never felt so ashamed. What was he doing to his dead lover's brother? He mentally punished himself. His brother seemed to be love stricken with him as well how can he do that to both Italy and Prussia? His frustration reached it's limit however when he saw it later that night. He didnt expect it at all even if Romano had admitted it happened before. He watched the small red faced italian ride his brother who held him closely and kissed him. He wanted him so bad too. He knew it was wrong for many reasons but he looked just like his Feliciano. After nearly getting seen by his brother he goes into his room to take care of his problem while thinking of his little Italy. Germany felt himself starting to crumble since that day.


	14. Chapter 14-btt and love

Romano layed on the couch reading through his brother's diary. He readafe pages each day since he got it. He smiled at the book. So far they were random things written like something about pasta or Austria. Every page had a small doodle somewhere on the page. He felt as ifhe still had his brother when he read the diary. Feli jumped onto the couch with him and curled up beside him. Romano pet the small cat as he drifted to sleep with the book in hand.

Romano woke up when he heard shuffling and Feli meowing happily and her bell swinging widely. He opened his eyes and saw Francis and Gilbert playing with Feli on the floor next to him. "What are you bastards doing here?" Romano groggily sat up. "Goodmorning sleeping Beauty, we came for a visit," France said as he held up a bottle of wine. "Ja, sorry for not calling before hand. Toni will be here soon with some tomatoes though." Romano peeked up when he heard about the tomatoes. "Okay bastards, I'll let it slide this time." Romano sat up amd Gilbert sat next to him. Francis sat on the recliner and let small Feli jump up and sit on his lap.

Antonio came with a basket of tomatoes and a bottle of wine. "Why not make us a pizza lovi?" Antonio said as he picked up a tomato and bit into. Lovino looked up from his second tomato and walked to the kitchen. "Alright then, might as well help me bastards." The trio walked in after him and helped him get the things. Romano made the sauce as France made the dough, Spain cut the toppings and Prussia grated the cheese. After he was done Prussia went behind Romano and wrapped his arms around his waist. He pecked a kiss onto his ear and Romano blushed brightly. "Can I have a real kiss?" He whispered into his ear. "No way bastard, I'm busy" Romano answered pushing him off. Francis watched interested at the two while he kneaded the pizza dough. Spain soon joined him with two glasses of wine. "Yeah, I was shocked too at first." He said as he took a drink from the glass. "That doesn't bother you? I thought you had a thing for him?" France said before grabbing the wine and adding a bit to the dough before kneading it again. "No, but he is like my little brother. I did beat him up when I first found out but we had a talk and I guess I don't mind now, I dont think they're dating though." Spain stopped talking when he saw Prussia walk up to them. "Gil? We're friends, why didn't you tell me? Big brother feels hurt." France said as he darted his eyes from him to Romano. "Its not like we are dating calm down." Prussia said as he took the glass of wine by his french friend. "Why not? Are you really still too scared to be in a relationship?" " It's not that Francy pants. I asked him a long time ago when I finally thought things were good. I finally felt ready but then-" The albino stopped talking and the two friends stared at him. "What?" "He told me he wasn't ready." Gilbert stared at the wine glass with a pout as he friends looked at him sympathetically. Romano stepped in with a large pizza dish. "Okay bastards move now, let the professional do this now." The three stepped a side and watched Romano soin the pizza dough and throw it into the air multiple times. The trio clapped at the small performance. "You're really good at that Roma." Spain said as he watched Romano do it once last time before placing the dough into place. "It's not hard when you've done it for years." Romano put in the cheese and toppings before putting a thick layer of tomato sauce over it and putting it into the oven. The four sat in the kitchen talking and drinking.

Romano went to get the pizza when France grabbed Prussia by the arm. "Ask him out." He said. "What? No way! He'll definitely say no." Prussia said. "Trust me mon ami, he will say yes this time." "How do you know?" "Because Lovi is really easy to read when you know how to." Spain answered. "He's waiting, do it today." France said as Romano came back with pizza on a dish. "Just let it cool and then you can get some." He said as he sat down. "But who really waits?" Prussia said as he took a slice and took a bite. He opened his mouth and fanned it with his hands as the rest face palmed.

They continued to drink as they ate and made jokes. Once again Spain was the first to fall asleep. France carried him to the guest room. "You better ask him Gil." He said as he walked away. He walked over to a drunk Romano who blushed heavily when Prussia picked him up bridal style and carried him to his room. He put Romano down and sat by the bed. "Hey Romano, how do you feel about me? Amd us?" He began to blush as he asked nervously. Romano answered in drunken truth. "I like you Gilbert. A lot and I want us to be more. But you won't ask me out!" He whined as he began to weakly hit Prussia. Prussia was shocked. "Then do you want to go out with me?" He said as he pulled the drunk italian into his arms. "No!" Prussia stopped. What?..."What?" ... "Ask me when I'm not drunk you loser." He said. Gilbert smiled guiltily and nodded. "Good, now kiss me you bastard. " Gilbert laughed before kissing the smaller man. His Romano sure was cute when drunk. He pulled away after the long kiss and Romano nuzzled into his neck. They cuddled for a bit before Gil heard soft snoring. He laughed and layed him down before pulling the blanket over the two of them and falling asleep.

Romano woke up with a headache the next morning and pulled whatever he was holding closer. It smelled like nature, like walking through a forest. He opened his eyes slowly and saw Prussia looking at him. "Morning liebe, how do you feel?" Romano groaned and burried his face back into Prussia's chest. "Do you want coffee?" Romano nodded and let go before turning the other way, hugging the pillow and falling asleep. Gilbert went down stairs and began to take things out for cookies. He began stirring the ingredients when Francis came down. "Morning Gil, what are you making?" Prussia smiled at Francis before answering "cookies and coffee." Francis sat down and poured himself a cup of coffee. "Did you ask him out?" He asked as he began to get a spoon of the cookie dough and ate it. His eyes widened at how good it was and reached for another spoonful but got his hand got smacked away. "I did and he told me to ask him when he wasnt drunk, so I'm doing it with cookies." France smiled. "Ah L'Amour L'Amour, it really is beautiful. Besides what kind of cookies are those?" He said as he snuck another spoonful or dough. "A special recipe with cinnamon." He began to roll the dough out and cut out the cookies with ridge edged circle cookie cutter. He drizzed chocolate on most of the cookies and on some wrote the words, "will, you, go, out, with, and me?" He put them into oven sat with Frances. They talked until the cookies were done.

Prussia pulled the cookies out and placed them onto a plate. Frances took a few cookies and ate one while Prussia poured coffee into a mug. He took both the cup and plate to Romano's room as Francis followed behind. They stood by the door as Spain joined them groggily. "Whats going on?" The two shushed him and he got silent as Prussia silently walked in and placed the plate and cup onto the stand. He gently shook Romano awake. Romano groaned and sat up. "I made you some coffee and cookies." Romano took the coffee and took a sip before looking at the cookies. He stopped and felt himself tear up. He read the note on the cookies and looked at the albino that smiled widely at him. "Yes, you bastard. I will." Prussia hugged him and gave him a kiss. Romano kissed back before taking a cookie and eating it. He began to cry as he chewed it. "Shieße Lovi, why are you crying?" Prussia asked as he wiped his tears away. "These are just so good!" He said. Prussia just laughed. France and Spain watched from the crack on the door and smiled at the two. "Ah, L'Amour is a beautiful thing." "I wanted a cookie." Spain complained. France gave him a cookie before pulling him away from the door. They left a note that read "congratulations" onto a bottle of wine and left home. The two stayed cuddled up in the room and felt truly happy together."


	15. Chapter 15- sickness

Prussia didn't think Lovino still had episodes. He thought he was long over the depression. Yet there he was trying to comfort the sobbing coming from the italian.

Prussia was staying the night and they had a pretty normal day. They went to sleep but Prussia woke up to the sobbing that came from the still sleeping italian. He shook him awake and held onto him tightly as he cried into his shirt. "It's okay Lovino. Im right here you don't have to be scared." He said as he rocked the nation. This wasn't the first time this had happened. The first few years after the death of Italy, Romano often woke up screaming and crying. Prussia was often the one who either held him until he fell back asleep of talked to him onto the phone until he heard the soft breathing of Romano sleeping. He recalled one time where the nation had been sleep talking to his brother. He would apologize over and over and tell him he wanted him to come back.

Prussia began to feel the small italian calm down and his sobs turned into small hiccups and deep breaths. He lightly kissed his forehead and rocked him until he fell asleep. "Shieße Lovi, how long have you been having nightmares and not have anyone there to calm you down?" He thought as he stroked the nation's brown hair.

The next morning Romano wouldn't get out of bed. Prussia got closer to the mess of blankets and pillows over Romano. He moved the blanket out of his face and noticed his red face and heavy breathing. He placed a hand over his forehead. He felt the heat before his hand even touched the skin. He gave Lovino a small kiss to the cheek and went to get him some medicine at the store. While he was out he called spain for advice on how to care for the sick nation. "Eh? Roma is sick? Im going down right now. Just let him sleep a bit longer and give him water for now." Spain hung up before Prussia could object. Prussia got to Romano's house and went straight to the room where he found Feli cuddled up with Romano. He placed the bottle of pills and a water bottle on the stand before getting a wet cloth and putting it to his forehead. The cat hissed as he touched the italian's hair and he quickly pulled away. The cat has never hissed before, was he worried I was going to hurt him? He sat next to him and heard him start sleep talking. "Feliciano, don't go there." Prussia watched the smaller nation tense up before relaxing again and going back to comfortable sleep.'what are you dreaming?' He thought before going back down stairs and falling asleep onto the couch.

He woke up when he heard Feli's bell as he jumped on him quickly. He tried to push the cat off to go back to sleep but the cat just hissed and clawed at his face. Prussia sat up in pain and looked at the cat. The cat jumped down took a few steps and meowed before running towards the room. Prussia got up and followed the cat to find Romano shaking and vomiting into the toilet. Prussia kneeled next to him and began to rub his back as he vomited everything in his stomach. Romano finished and sat back still trembling. "Are you okay liebe? Come on lets get you back to bed." Prussia carried him into bed and put the blankets over him. He gave him the water and pill and Romano quickly took it. He layed down and Feli quickly jumped onto the bed and nuzzled close to him. "Go to sleep liebe, spain will be here soon to help me watch you." Romano nodded and fell back into a deep sleep. Prussia stood to leave but was stopped by meowing Feli. He went back and pet the small cat. "Thanks for waking me up asshole. But did you have to scratch me?" The cat only meowed as it nuzzled back into the blanket with a sleeping Romano. "Ja, he will be fine don't worry." He said as he went back downstairs.

Romano couldn't remember much. He remembered having a nightmare. He kept falling in and out of consciousness. He remembered hearing meowing before hearing a bell that faded away. He remembered waking up when he felt his insides turned and he got up to vomit. He remembered Feliciano telling him to go back, but he couldn't find him anywhere in the darkness. He was awoken by a hissing as he felt a cool hand on his forehead. Then he heard whispers as the hand pulled away. He whined as the cool touch left him. It felt nice. "Im sorry, did I wake you Lovi?" He opened his eyes to see Antonio bent over him. "How are you feeling? I heard you were sick and got worried, looks like I wasn't the only one worried though." Romano sat up and saw a sleeping Prussia beside him and Feli by his side purring. "What time is it?" Romano asked as he looked at the clock. "It's almost time for dinner, when I got here you were both asleep so I took your temperature and put you a new towel before making your dinner. I came back to check on you but I accidentally woke you up." Spain said as he handed him a glass of water. Romano drank it quickly and handed the glass to Spain. He had slept all day? He began to get light head as he tried to remember if he really did. "Just lay back down, I'll bring your soup when it's done. It's tomato soup. Your favorite. " spain smiled before leaving the room and Feli snuggled next to Romano's face as he layed back down. "Feliciano never left my side either when I got sick" he said as he pet the small cat. "Thank you for worrying about me."

He ate the soup and vomited it out before taking another pill and falling back asleep. This went on for a whole week. And the whole week, Prussia and Feli never left his side. Spain went home to do work and get clothes before he came back to help out Prussia. While he was gone Francis would stop by with food for the two of them and tease them before leaving. Romano however showed no signs of getting better and only ever wanted to sleep. Prussia began to get really worried. He knew spain told him that Romano used to get like this often when he was younger, but he still worried. Even more so because he seemed to always be talking to bis brother in his sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

"Ve~ Fratello what are you doing?" Romano looked up to see his brother bent over him. "I'm trying to finish this drawing," he replied as he went back to sketching. "What is it?" Romano stayed quiet. Feliciano took the notebook from his hands. "Fratello why are you drawing this?" Feliciano looked at the black scribbles onto the notebook. In fact it looked like his brother had been stabbing the notebook instead of drawing. "Im just drawing how I feel is all." Romano answered not bothering to look up at his brother. Feliciano looked at the notebook before tossing it behind him. "Fratello. You shouldn't do that, feelings mean nothing when you're a country." Romano looked up to see his brother grinning at him, his eyes wide open showing a magenta color instead of the usual honey brown. "Besides what can someone like you feel? You're a demon. You killed your own brother." He said before laughing. Romano only looked to the man who looked just like his brother, but wasn't. He looked back down at his legs before hearing Feliciano again. "Fratello im going away now." Romano watched as his brother opened the front door. Heat poured into room as the door swung open. The darkness seemed to eat at the light from the living room and agonizing screams came from the darkness. "Feliciano don't go there." Romano stood up and began to walk towards his brother. "But you want me to," Feliciano replied before taking another step. Romano ran and grabbed his brother's arm, pulling him back away from the door. He looked up and met with the magenta eyes of the other man who smiled widely. He pushed Romano making him fall into the dark room. Romano tried desperately to grab onto anything to avoid going into the dark room. He looked up to see Feliciano smiling sweetly at him as the door shut on it's own. He curled up in the darkness with his eyes shut tight as the screams continued and the heat began to eat at his skin. "Romano!"

Romano woke up with Prussia looking down at him worriedly. 'Another nightmare?' He thought to himself as he sat up. A pain and wave of heat shot through his body and he lied back down with a groan. "Just relax you're going to be okay. I brought your medicine. " Prussia said as he put the bottle of pills down. "What happened to your face?" Romano asked him as giant scratches began to dip blood. "Feli came to tell me you weren't feeling good but I ignored him thinking he was just hungry." Prussia laughed until another voice joined in. "When we came in you weren't breathing right and you were sweating alot." Romano looked up to see America standing by the edge of the bed. "America? What are you doing here?" Romano asked confused. "We had a meeting today but you weren't picking up your phone, I got worried and came over. That's when Prussia told me you had been sick for over 2 weeks." America said. Romano groaned. He had been so out of it he had forgotten completely. "Shit, sorry bastard. I've been sleeping all this time I didn't even know two weeks passed." America put a hand up. "It's cool dude, you need to rest. Still you don't seem okay. Maybe you should see a doctor." Romano shook his head as Feli jumped onto the bed with him. "Im a nation, a doctor won't be any help." "Liebe, maybe he's right. You've been really sick." Prussia said. "Yeah dude, its been 2 weeks and your fever hasn't broken, you also clearly have trouble with breathing correctly right now too." America defended.

"Im fine bastards, I used to always get this sick when I was younger. " Romano said as he pet the small cat. America grabbed the small cat and put him down before sitting on the bed. He leaned in and placed his palm over Romano's forehead. "Romano, youre burning up. You're not sleeping or eating well either." Romano closed his eyes and enjoyed the coolness of the American's hand. He didn't even notice that he had fallen asleep as he was talking. "He's out again" America said as he pulled his hand away.

"I don't know what to do, I've tried everything and he just doesn't get better." L said as they sat on the couch in Romano's home. "I'm sorry dude, I don't get sick so I don't know what to do." They sat in silence until America spoke up again. "You know... France told me that to break a fever you can, you know." America blushed while Prussia lookdd at him very confused. "No, I don't know what." "Well you know. Do the do, I mean you two are together after all. " Gilbert continued to look at America very confused. Then it began to hit. America flustered, not saying exactly what, Frances being mentioned. "Oh. OH uhm. Yeah maybe I can give it a try. " America quickly stood redder than ever. "Okay well I'll leave you to it. Bye, hope Romano feels better." He quickly went to the door and opened it. "Oh and have him call me to set up a meeting when he gets better, thanks. " with that America left and shut the door. Prussia sat there contemplating what he had been told.


	17. Chapter 17

Prussia looked at the sleeping Romano. So 'doing the do' will break the fever? Prussia continued to look at Romano, deciding if he should. The clock ticked. "Agh I Can't do it! He is just so small and sick and vulnerable. I can't do it. Who the hell even says 'do the do'? What is he, in middle school?" Romano shifted and opened his eyes. He gave a scowl to Prussia before closing his eyes and falling back to sleep. "Sorry." Prussia whispered before going back downstairs. He was really getting tired and he hasn't gone home once. He pulled his cell phone out and called Germany.

Germany sat in his office doing paper work when he heard the phone ring. He picked it up almost expecting to hear Italy on the other line. "Yo west." Germany sighed in dissapointment as he heard the prussian. "Yeah bruder, what is it?" "Just checking up on you, west. What are you doing?" Germany looked around at the paperwork surrounding him. If he told his brother he was working he would complain again. He had been closed into his office ever since they came home from the italian's home. He had felt awful since the incident with his broher and Romano and only worked to keep his mind off of it. He only saw his brother when he came into the office to complain about him working too much. Come to think of it, he hasn't seen him at all in afew days. How long has it been? "I'm about to go shopping for food." He said to keep his brother off of him. "Besides where are you? Haven't seen you in a while."

Prussia rolled his eyes at his brother's response. "West you haven't left the office at all have you?" Germany gulped on the other line. "West you... *sigh* west you are over working yourself. Listen, I want you to bring me some clothes, you too you're spending the night here." Gilbert said in a serious tone. "And where would that be?" Germany asked. "Romano's place. He's been sick for over 2 weeks and I have been here the whole time." Germany was surprised by this. He didn't think he had been closed in for over two weeks. He thought at most it was 5 days. Even more so, he couldn't face Romano at all. "I can't just leave, I have work to do." He defended. "West, we both know you are ahead one month with your work. Get out of that house and get over here. Im expecting you to be here in a few hours." With that Prussia hung up the phone and Germany sat there in the silence. He had too or else Prussia would send France here to get him. He sighed as he got up and took a shower. He got dressed and packed up a change of clothes for himself and his brother. He took the plane to italy and headed towards Romano's house.

Prussia hung up the phone and looked at it. He dialed another number and waited for the other person to pick up. "Hola, what's up Gil?" Spain's cheerful voice came from the phone. "Hey spain, can you come watch Roma today? I need to talk to west tonight." Prussia said into the phone. "Sure thing, Im on my way there now." Spain hung up and packed a bag before heading to the airport.

Germany arrived to Romano's house before Spain. Germany sat awkwardly with Prussia in the living room. "So how is Romano?" Germany asked not knowing what else to stay. "He's still bad, I took his temperature earlier. He still has a fever of 110" Prussia said as he looked down worriedly. Germany shifted and spoke up again. "So why do I have to stay here?" Prussia looked at him and smirked. "We are going out for a drink, just like old times." "You're leaving Romano alone?" Germany asked worried. "Oh no of course not, Feli is here watching him, im not an idiot. " Prussia said sarcastically before gaining a glare from Germany. "Spain is on his way here." Prussia said as Germany looked around. "Where is Feli anyways?" "With Romano, he hasn't left his side at all and won't let anyone near him." Prussia said before showing the bite marks on his hand. "He bit you?" Germany said shocked. He didn't think the cat would bite. "Ja, Lovino wasn't taking his medicine so I tried to force it into his mouth." Prussia admitted. 'Still as stubborn as always' Germany thought to himself before the doorbell rang. Prussia stood up and opened the door. "Hola, how is Lovi doing?" Spain said as he walked in. Almost as if on cue Romano came down the stairs with a small Feli trotting beside him. Everyone turned to see the small italian rubbing his eyes as he trudged downstairs. "Romano you shouldn't be up." Prussia said as he went up to him. Romano only pushed him away as he walked to the couch and sat down. "Hello Romano, how are you feeling." Germany said watching the small italian try so hard to stay awake as he sat there with the small cat sitting beside his foot. "Oh, potato bastard." Was all he said before pulling his legs up to his chest and spacing out. " I'm going to make dinner, you guys are staying to eat yeah?" Spain said as he walked into the kitchen. The two brothers talked while Spain cooked and Romano did his best to stay awake with the cool wet cloth over his face. After awhile the food was ready and they all sat in the kitchen table.

Romano looked at his bowl of tomato soup before looking at the other's plate. They all had paella and it looked amazing. "What's wrong Roma?" Spain asked when he noticed Romano not eating. "I want some paella, bastard." "You're sick liebe, you can't eat this." Prussia said hoping he wasn't going to do this. Though he had mostly been asleep, the times Romano was awake he was awfully emotional and stubborn. "I don't want to eat soup, I eat soup everyday. Get me some paella." Romano glared at the Prussian daring him to say no. "Romano, you're just going to throw it up." Prussia defended as the others watched. Romano began to tear up as he looked at Spain's plate of food. "It's no fair! All I eat is soup and you all are eating paella in front of me. You bastards are evil!" Romano began to cry and the others looked on shocked, scared to say the wrong thing. "Romano, im sorry." Prussia said as he looked down in guilt. "You are all greedy basta-" Romano stopped talking and crying and looked down at his food seriously. His eyes widened and he quickly stood and ran to the closest trash can before vomiting. The three looked at him with shock and loss of appetite. "I told you" Prussia said annoyed. "Shut up bastard. This happened because you wouldn't feed me paella!" Romano said before cleaning his face and sitting back down. As he sat down Germany places his untouched plate of food in front of him. "Here. I lost my apetite." He said before sitting down. Romano smiled before quickly eating both his and Germany's plate. Antonio and Prussia just ate silently while Germany sat there only drinking a glass of wine. Romano looked up and noticed they each also had wine. He frowned before complaining again. "Hey bastard, serve me some wine too." Gilbert put his fork down and placed his hands onto the table before standing up. "Okay, I draw the line at wine." They all looked at him shocked. "You, Lovino Romano Vargas, are going to finish your dinner. You will not have wine. You will go upstairs and take your medicine before going back to bed." Romano looked down with tears in his eyes as Prussia sat back down and continued to eat. "It's okay Romano, boss will be here to look after you while Prussia does his business tonight. We can take a bath or take a long siesta together, si?" Spain said hoping to lighten the mood. "You didn't tell me you were leaving." Romano said looking at Prussia. Germany and Spain only gulped. Prussia sighed as he looked at Romano. "I'm going for a drink with west, I'll be back before you know it liebe." He said grabbing Romano's hand and kissing it. Romano nodded before Prussia stood and placed his plate into the sink. "I'll see you later." He said as he grabbed a coat and left with Germany.

Spain washed the dishes while Romano sat on the couch with a tea and Feli sleeping beside him. He stared at the tv that played some childish cartoon, not really paying attention. He heard the sink turn off and foot steps coming towards him. He turned to see spain sit down next to him and start watching the tv. "So, what's going on?" Spain said after afew minutes of silence. "What do you mean?" Romano said looking at the spaniard who no longer had the derpy smile he always had. "Romano, I know you more than anyone. It has been two weeks, you usually only get sick for a week. Something is eating at you isn't it?" Romano looked down at his tea and thought for a moment.

"Antonio, I have been having nightmares." Spain looked at Romano before rubbing circles on his back as he continued to talk. Romano was using his human name and he knew this was a serious talk. "I keep dreaming that Feliciano leaves me. The guy keeps telling me it's my fault that he killed himself. That I was the one who killed him. And it ends when either Feliciano leaves to go into the dark room or I somehow I end up in there." Spain looked hurt as Romano talked. "What guy? What's the dark room?" He asked curiously. "I don't know, the guy looks just like Feli, but he has big pink eyes and darker hair. And that room. It's always so dark and hot in there and I can always hear people screaming. I'm always so scared to fall asleep but I also like to see Feliciano there. I don't want to sleep but I also want to sleep forever to get to see my fratellino. " Romano admitted. He felt Spain's arms wrap around him and he snuggled closer into the embrace. "Lovino, I'm so sorry. I promise you its not your fault. Don't think that way, you are only hurting yourself. Why don't you ever talk to me Roma? I'm here for you." Spain began to tear up as he held Romano close. The two sat in silence before Romano spoke up again. "Spain I'm going to vomit, please let go." Spain let go and Romano ran to the bathroom and vomited everything he ate. "Are you okay Roma?" Spain said as the italian sat with his head in the toilet. "Why did you have to feed me all that food you bastards." Romano said before vomiting again. Spain only laughed before getting him a towel and pair of clothes so he can take a shower.


	18. Chapter 18

"So what's the matter?" Germany turned to see his brother watching him with a bored expression. He was on his second beer and not nearly drunk enough to start talking about his situation. "Just thinking about Italy is all." Prussia looked at Germany unsatisfied with his answer. "What about you and Romano? You two have been together alot," Germany sent an unintentional glare to his older brother. "We started dating about a month ago," he said shrugging as he downed the rest of his beer. "I wasn't expecting that." Germany looked at his empty glass thoughtfully. "I'm surprised as well. He rejected me a long time ago and all of a sudden he finally likes me back." Prussia ordered another two beers. "Why didn't you tell me?" "It wasn't anyone's business but mine and his, besides I didn't think you would take it well." Prussia said drinking from the new glass given to him. "How long has this been going on?" Germany watched his brother think. "About a month after the incident, then it went on for a couple years. We stopped and it just sparked up again recently." Prussia replied looking at his drink. They continued to drink and make small talk and pretty soon Prussia was sure his brother had enough drinks to start talking.

"So what has been bothering you? Why did you just lock yourself away again?" Prussia looked at a slightly swaying Germany. "I- I was missing Feliciano. I missed him so much. And Romano just reminds me so much of him sometimes." Prussia listened and nodded as his brother finally vented out to him. "And he got a cut and I just couldn't help myself. I had my mouth all over him and-" " Wait what?" Prussia interupted confused. Germany shushed him and continued. "I didn't even realize it until he was almost crying and pulling away. And then I saw the two of you in the bathroom and I couldn't keep my eyes off of him." Prussia froze, his brother saw him that night? Is that why he's been so down? "He is just like him, I feel like I betrayed Italy," Germany stopped and looked down ashamed. Prussia didn't know what to say. His brother watched them the other night, he possibly molested Romano and he never mentioned it to him. Germany was desperate for his ex and he was trying to go for his brother? "West, maybe you should just get laid and calm down," Prussia suggested. He originally meant it as a joke but maybe it's what he needed after all. Another person to make him get over the small italian. Germany only glared at him. Sleep with someone else? How could he? Italy would have never forgiven him. "I just want to go home." He said looking down upset with his brother. "Come on, don't rush it. Lets at least forget our troubles for the night. Just like old times," Prussia said and ordered another two beers. "You will move on one day west, for now just do your best to not lock yourself away from everyone." Germany nodded and the two brothers began to drink again.

The two arrived home drunk at 1 in the morning. They walked in to see Romano cuddled up with Spain and Feli on the couch with the tv playing some movie. Prussia fumbled over to check on Romano. He was still red and his breathing was harsh. He placed a hand over his forehead and felt the heat radiating from his skin. He sighed and decided to leave the two sleeping comfortably on the couch. He threw a blanket over his brother who was already fast asleep on the guest bed before going to Romano's room. He laid down and fell asleep.

Prussia woke up the next morning with a head ache, he walked down stairs and found Romano sleeping soundly on the couch and Spain on the floor still asleep. He shook his head and made his coffee. He watched his brother leave a few hours later with Spain leaving a bit after. "So how was your night?" Prussia turned to see Romano rubbing the sleep from his eyes by the kitchen. He wore only boxers and a big shirt. His cheeks were a bright red and his hair was messy with a small Feli on top of it trying to play with the arrogant curl. Prussia had to stop himself from taking a picture from the amount of cuteness. "It was okay, how about yours?" Romano sat down and pulled the cat down from his head before Prussia placed a cup of tea in front of him. "It was fine, I threw up and then took a shower. Me and spain talked a bit and we watched a movie before falling asleep." Romano yawned and drank the tea silently. Prussia sat next to him and wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. "You know what spain told me?" Prussia looked down at the red faced Romano. "That having sex can break a fever." Prussia looked at Romano with a nervous grin. He really didn't want to when he was so sick and frail but he had to. He only nodded before Romano began to pull him into a kiss. They pulled apart after a few minutes and Prussia carried the sick italian to the room and layed him down. "Just tell me if you feel uncomfortable and I'll stop" Prussia said and Romano nodded. Prussia leaned back down and continued to kiss him passionately.

It was now 3 in the afternoon and Romano was sleeping next to him. After they finished they cuddled but Romano had to throw up violently before coming back and falling asleep. 'Maybe it didn't really work,' Prussia thought looking back at the flush faced Romano. He didn't even have to touch him to feel the heat radiating from his body anymore. It's almost as if his fever got worse. Prussia sighed and laid down next to him. Now what?


	19. Chapter 19

Romano looked around but could only see darkness. He slowly walked along until he spotted lights. Sptinkled lights all over the plsce. He continued to run until he came to view a very familiar place. It was the Lily garden from before. Romano looked at the flowers before plucking one and smelling it. He gently sat down and waited for the flowers to sing to him again. He layed down and felt the coolness of the ground. This was so much better than the other dream. He listened to the flowers that again whispered to him in the unknown language. "Romano!" Romano sat up and saw his brother running towards him. "Feliciano, " Romano stood up smiling at his brother. "Fratellino I came to see you again." Romano hugged his younger brother. "Fratello you shouldn't be here!" Romano looked at his brother confused. "You have to get out of here or you will get stuck here." Feliciano exclaimed holding his brother tightly. "What do you mean? I wanted to see you and I can only do it through my dreams." Feliciano only looked sadly at his brother. "Fratello, please get out of here it's not safe." Romano couldn't believe his brother. What wasnt safe? Did he just not want to see him? He couldnt understand what was going on. Then it happened. Feliciano started to fade away again. "Please Romano, I love you. Don't stay here. I'm out of time now. I will visit you again just not here. So please get out." Feliciano said hugging his brother. Romano only watched his brother fade away. He couldn't understand at all. And he didn't know how to get out. He tried to wake up but nothing happened. He still stood alone in the garden of Lilys, surrounded by darkness. What was going on? Then he heard it. The flowers began to whisper again. He looked down at them and tried to listen to them. He couldn't hear them even as he leaned it. They spoke in almost a different language. He became frustrated and began to pull the flowers out but they still whispered. He threw a handful of the flowers on the floor before sitting with his head on his knees listening to the flowers talk to each other. "Why can't I wake up?" Romano said tearing up.


	20. Chapter 20- dear diary

November 03, 2016

Dear journal,

My boss and I went to Italy. The meeting was such a pain. Those dudes really need to calm down. I went to take a walk to get some air after. I sorta ended up lost after a while and was getting really cold. I found Romano on the bench of a park looking pretty upset. Being the hero I decided to go help him, and ask for directions. When I reached him I noticed he didn't have a sweater and looked more irritated than usual. I sat down and he told me about his fight with Italy. It seemed like he blamed himself only for the fight and I really felt bad. I told him it was both their faults and they should just talk it out. He surprisingly agreed and hugged me before running off. I watched him run feeling proud of myself before realizing I didn't get to ask for directions. I had to call my boss to pick me up.

-The hero (America)

November 04, 2016

Dear diary,

Italy died yesterday. I was playing video games when I saw west run out of the house without an explanation. I thought he might have just forgotten something or Italy was just having troubles with his shoes again. I was surprised when hours later I heard the door slam shut. I came out of the room and saw west come in with Romano. He was almost white with blood shot red eyes. Sound familiar? Anyways West let him stay in the guest room before he sat down with a sigh. I asked what was going on but he just ignored me and went into his room. This morning Spain came and Germany told us Italy committed suicide. He found Romano crying holding Italy who was already dead. I couldn't believe it at all. Happy Italy killed himself? A few minutes we heard Romano screaming in the room. We rushed in there and Spain tried to calm down. West went into his room and I didn't see him again. I can't imagine how he feels. I wonder what is going to happen.

-Prussia

November 05, 2016

Dear diary.

I took Romano to my house. He looked awful and his fever was really high. I thought Germany was too upset to watch over him. Romano slept the whole day and cried all night. It hurt to know Italy was gone for good. But it hurt more to see Romano this way more. He didn't eat today or yesterday. I've been trying but he just starts crying again. When I finally got him to talk he said he wanted Italy to be cremated so his ashes can be spread through all of Italy, not just one space. We made the preparations right away. The funeral will take place on the 8th. I hope Romano starts to feel better soon.

-Spain

November 08, 2016

Dear diary,

I knew something was wrong. I felt it that night. At the time I didn't know what it was, but I felt like something was missing and I felt sad. I was shocked when I heard that Italy was dead. Today was the funeral and it was depressing. I can't say I ever had much good history with the two brother in the past, but I still sympathized with the grieving brother and felt dread over the lifeless one. Maybe I can try to be friends with Romano soon, so he won't be too lonely.

-England

November 08, 2016

The funeral wasn't what I expected. I know it was supposed to be sad, but not down right agonizingly depressing. I shifted in a suit that I wore for the first time in years as I gave my condolences to Romano. I was never close to the two brothers but I couldn't help but still feel dread. I had to hold a crying Lily the whole time. I hate seeing so many crying people in one room.

-Switzerland.

November 08, 2016

Dear diary

I didn't know countries could die. As much as I was sad, I was also really scared. Does that mean I could die too? I couldn't help but cry at the funeral. Romano was crying so much, I felt so sorry for him. He sang so beautifully too. I decided to give him the flowers instead because he looked like he needed some too. I had small white flowers and made them into a crown before going up to him. He looked at me and I felt like crying when I saw how sad he looked. I held up the crown and he smiled before bending down so I can put the crown on him. He started crying when I did and I didn't know what to do, I just started crying too. He hugged me and said "Don't cry princess. You look so much prettier when you smile." He can be so sweet. He hugged me while I cried. I think I fell asleep cause when I woke up I was in the car with big brother. I hope Romano feels better.

-Lichtenstein

November 11th, 2016

Dear diary,

I have been taking food to Romano lately. I know I wasn't there for him when he was a child, but I thought I could at least try to help him out. I know Italy would have appreciated it. Although he didn't eat a single bite I still take him some anyways. Usually he's in bed when I stop by with the food untouched in the kitchen. Today he was in the shower. I thought I would try to talk to him for a bit. I waited until he came out and he looked shocked to see me there. Before I could say anything he gave a rare smile before showing me a tattoo. I was surprised to see him look so proud over it. He said he got it the yesterday. I felt glad that he looked to be feeling better. If this continues he will be himself soon.

-Austria

November 16, 2016

Diar diary,

The boys and I went out for a drink today. After the depression we decided to visit sweet Romano to cheer him up on Saturday. Hope everything goes well. Big brother can't wait.

-France

November 19, 2016

Dear diary,

My poor Lovi looked awful. My heart hurt when I found him under the water really thin. His bones stuck out like he hadn't eaten. I was glad when Francis got him to eat. It was too bad I fell asleep drunk before he did. I went home feeling good that he ate though. I made sure to leave him a lot of tomatoes to eat. Mi tomate will feel better real soon, I can feel it.

-Spain

November 19, 2016

Dear diary,

This wasn't supposed to happen. I can't even say it was a drunken mistake because I wasn't drunk. I know it was wrong, he was drunk and depressed but I couldn't stop myself. He looked so amazing and his skin was soft and flushed. To make things worse, it was super obvious it was his first time. I tried to be gentle and it felt amazing. I can't tell anyone about this though. It's a guilty secret for only god to know.

-Prussia

November 28, 2016

Dear diary,

I was surprised when Romano called and asked to come over yesterday. Thinking he might just be lonely I bought beer and headed over there. I wasn't expecting to have sex again, yet there we were in the kitchen getting busy. I can't seem to help myself around him at all. He's just so vulnerable and he always feels so soft. He smells like the woods after a rainy day. It always draws me in. I went home and was questioned by west. He was finally starting to be like himself. It makes me happy really.

-Prussia

December 15th. 2016

Dear diary,

Now I've done it. I can admit, with our situation it was bound to happen. Every now and then Romano would call me over and we would have our fun. We would sleep together before I left the next morning. I was always there when he needed to cry. I don't know when, but somewhere in our secret game... I fell in love with him. I think he may feel the same. I might just spoil him a bit more until I get the courage to tell him.

-Prussia

December 20th, 2016

Dear diary,

I visited Roma today. He seemed to be in a better mood but he still never left outside. I was worried and chose to bring him some wine. He didn't talk much but at least he was eating some. He wasn't as thin anymore. Bel came too. She put up Christmas decorations and put a small tree for him in the living room. We tried to get him out but he refused. Maybe he still didn't feel like socializing. Bel cried after we left. She doesn't like to see Roma so lifeless. She'll get used to it soon, or not. I know I'm not.

-Spain

December 24, 2016

Dear diary,

I was surprised to see Prussia at Romano's house. When I went in Prussia came out of the bathroom in just some pajamas pants. I guess he slept over. I gave Romano a basket of tomatoes which he took without an expression. We drank and ate cookies that Prussia brought. I was curious as to why he came but didn't ask. He left later that day saying he was going to be with Germany. Romano opened his presents early. He had quite a bit. I guess other countries stopped by to give him a present. He didn't look very happy though. Tomorrow for sure I'll make him smile.

-Spain

December 25, 2016

Dear diary

Big brother and I went to visit Romano and Spain. I made them waffles for breakfast before going to Venice. It was beautiful. A little girl gave flowers to Romano. It was the first time I saw him smile. I felt happy seeing him outside instead of locked inside his house. I wish he could smile more.

-Belgium

June 15, 2031

Dear diary,

I didn't think Italy's death would still bother me fifteen years later. I keep finding myself trying to avoid Romano. The night I found him with Italy, I felt close to him, but now I can't even look at him. I heard he hasn't left his house in years, only for meetings. He doesn't seem to pay attention to anyone and rarely talks to anyone during the meetings. I want to know how he is but I can't bring myself to approach him. On another note, bruder keeps disappearing. I don't know where too. I have to ask him soon.

-Germany

June 19, 2031

Dear diary,

I don't know what happened. It took fifteen years for me to say it. In those fifteen years I did everything I could. I brought him flowers and chocolate. I brought him wine and spent the night with him. I talked for hours with him everyday. I finally started to see him change. He began to smile and he was eating now. He still didn't leave his home if he didn't have to but he went to every meeting. I supported him through his depression and anxiety every night. So why is it that when I finally told him how I felt, he rejected me. He told me he wasn't ready. It hurts. I spent the week with him and we had an amazing time, but it was ruined with that. I couldn't even talk to west, or Francis. I'm sure Toni would kill me. I don't think I'll see him for a while.

-Prussia

September 5, 2056

Dear diary,

I was nervous about meeting with Romano today. I haven't spoken to him in 40 years. I was impressed however with how serious he took his work. Looking around I noticed he was pretty organized. He also looked tired though and awfully pale. I couldn't help myself and invited him to drink. Surprisingly he agreed and had a few drinks. He told me about Italy. I felt guity as Romano blamed himself. Luckily Spain and Bruder came to distract him. Romano didn't seem to be as depressed as other times I saw him. Usually I stopped by with Prussia on Christmas or his birthday to leave a small gift before running out. He doesn't attack me anymore. Unfortunately Spain and Brother got into a fight and I had to carry him home. The idiot told spain he slept with Romano. He deserved the hits.

-Germany

September 6, 2056

Dear diary, I was surprised to see Romano had a tattoo. He told me Italy painted it. He looked so proud. I was happy to see him doing well. We picked some tomatoes and ate happily. I was abit angry that Germany had easily taken him out, and even more angry at Prussia for whag he said, but curiosity hit me. When I asked he didn't deny it. I still don't regret hitting Prussia though.

-Spain

September 7, 2056

Dear diary,

It hurts. 40 years later and it still hurts. I killed mio fratellino. I slept with Prussia after accusing my brother of going to hell for being gay. Im disgusting. I tried to forget all my feelings after Prussia left. I can't take it anymore though. I think im going to go apologize to my brother.

Romano

September 8, 2056

Dear diary,

I'm an idiot. I truly thought Romano was getting better. So why? Why am I sitting by him while he's in the hospital in a coma? I got the call and rushed here. It hurts to see him like this. They said he over dosed on his medication. I didn't even know he was on medication. I don't know if he will ever wake up.

-Spain

 **Yes, I just added a twist. You can all hate me now.**


	21. Chapter 21-poem and explanation

I walk in the garden of my deepest thoughts.

The wind that kisses my skin.

I lay and watch the empty black sky

Glowing Lilies stand proud around me

The scent sends me

It takes me into the nostalgia of my own mind

They whisper to me, in a foreign tongue that they do not own

Secrets, of whispers that are not heard

Hidden in the purity of the flower lilies.

They sing to me

In the sweet sanity I long forgotten

They sing to me

In the silence I have long known

Secrets, whispers not heard

The foreign tongue that holds no words

They sing to me.

How long have I, since I last seen the lilies glow

A white so pure, it glows in the darkness of nostalgia

The purity it whispers have been silenced forever ago

Insanity, withered my garden forever ago.

My lily, withered in the song I've no longer known

 **Author's note: this is just a poem in Romanos pov. This poem has deep meaning and refrences to the dream he has where Feliciano visits him.**

 **You may notice that Lilys are in fact all over this story. Apart from being the national flower of Italy I instead used the white Lily that represents purity in their religion. Romano claims that the white lily represents Feliciano due to the purity he has.**

 **This poem expresses how Romano feels he does not have that purity. He believes that his purity was lost a long time ago yet he still lays and listens to them "sing" and "whisper" to him. The reason for this being that he still owns that purity he once had even though he believes it no longer exists within him.**

 **In the dreams the garden first withers shortly after Feliciano dissapeared. This represents the purity he lost after his brother's death which he blames himself for. The second time he grows frustrated with not understanding the flowers and he begins to tear them out before crying in frustration. This represents the purity he is slowly loosing (more purposely getting rid of) due to the stress from lack of apprehension of what is now going on.**

 **He cannot understand why his brother decided to commit suicide or why he keeps having nightmares, as well as his relationship with Prussia which he ended after things were getting serious and he felt guilty about being happy with another** ** _man_** **after forbidding his brother the privilege.**

 **It was now revealed that shortly after the bar fight he attempted suicide and is now in a coma. Now everything from then on is him imagining what it would be like if he had gotten over the death of Feliciano. Just a peak for the later chapters. There are a lot of easter eggs in those dreams Romano has. There are also hints in Romano's illusioned life in what is really going on while he is in a coma.**

 **Again though I really appreciate you guys reading through my shit story. Reviews are greatly appreciated as well. I may or may not do an alternate ending when I do finish this. Again thanks for reading, I love you all.**


	22. Chapter 22-each beep took you further

Romano layed in the darkness not knowing what to do. He would occasionally feel a light touch somewhere or a tight pinch in his arm. He felt heat on his head and sometimes hear a small shuffle in the distance. But a sudden voice made him jump up.

"Hey 'Mano," the voice said softly. It sounded so familiar yet so out of place. The voice seemed to lack something so he struggled to understand who it belonged to. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. Actually I came the other day but, Prussia was here and you two weren't looking so good."

Romano leaned in at the sound of Prussia's name. "He went home today for a shower so I thought I'd keep you company." The voice sighed before mumbling something he didn't understand.

"Everyone came to visit you but no one told the me the news until just the other day. I guess everyone thought I wasn't mature enough to know."

"What are you talking about bastard? Who are you?" Romano said trying to understand what this voice was talking about. "Italy is pretty far off from America, but I would've came anyways. We're friends after all, aren't we?" Romano nodded as he now knew who it was speaking to him. America was there somewhere but he couldn't see him.

"Yeah right. Some friend I am." America scoffed as pulled the chair closer to Romano. He felt mildly guilty looking at the small nation on the hospital bed with so many machines hooked up to him. "I'm really sorry Lovino. You told me what happened that night and I just brushed it off. When I heard about Italy I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't approach you at the funeral cause I felt so guilty. I just pretended it never happened because I didn't want you to feel bad. If I had known, I would've visted you more often. I would've tried harder to make you feel better, but I didn't." America began to sniffle as tears began to fall.

Romano was shocked to hear those words and the light sniffles. "Don't apologize bastard. It's not your fault."

America lightly grabbed Romano's hand and leaned his head against it lightly. "I'm so sorry Lovino. I should have been there for you. Then maybe you wouldn't be here."

Romano could feel water dripping down his hand but his hand wasn't wet at all. "But where is 'here'? I don't understand," he said as he sat back down and crying again. The only thing he heard for the next 20 minutes were the light sniffles of America. "I should be going. Romano I really hope you wake up soon. I promise this time I'll be there for you." And with that America stood up amd left.

Romano sat there trying to think. 'What is happening? I can't wake up at all.. I miss Spain and Prussia. Hell I even miss the potato bastard.'

Romano layed in darkness for what seemed like forever. He then began to hear a loud beeping and loud shuffling. He covered his ears trying to drown out the sound but it was still loud. He began to get annoyed before two familiar voices joined in.

"Roma! Romano!" "Hey what the hell is happening?" He reconized the first voice as Spain calling out to him and the second as Prussia. He stood up and began to look around. "Spain? Prussia. Where are you?" He ran around trying to look for the two in the darkness. "Spain!" "Romano!" He could hear spain yelling along with the beeping and the sound of multiple people running. Spain's voice faded away and Romano began to panic. "Spain! I'm right here, please don't go!" Romano was now shouting as tears poured down. His running slowed as his body became heavier. "Spain please, I don't want to be alone!" He sat down frustrated as the beeping only continued and got faster before it slowly faded away. Romano felt himself becoming unconscious as the each beep became fainter until he was completely unconscious.

Spain had hoped to see Romano looking better. He had hoped to see his fever breaking. Yet there he sat in the waiting room tightly clutching the bouquet of Lilys. Prussia placed a hand on him reassuringly. The two sat in silence waiting.

They came to visit Romano but on their way they saw doctors pulling Romano away in a hurry. The two called after them and chased them but two nurses had stopped them before they could go into the emergency unit with them. They were told that Romano was having a seizure and may not make it. The two now sat quietly in the waiting room, too shocked too cry.

Romano felt light headed as he heard the sound of crunching leaves and someone walking over gravel. He could feel a warm breaze hit him and a small leaf land on his face. He felt someone lift the leaf off his face and he slowly opened his eye. He teared up as he saw the two familiar faces smiling down at him.

 **Iroyuki here to say that this chapter was inspired by "what sarah said" by death cab for cutie. Listen to it and imagine Spain and Prussia in the hospital scene. (Don't actually do this unless you want feels)**


	23. Chapter 23- visitors pass

The sound of light footsteps echoed through the hospital until the two feet stopped in front of the door that read 205. The light knocking was not heard from the other side. The small man opened the door and stepped inside, being greeted by the sound of the heart monitor.

He sighed and moved a chair closer to the unconscious figure and sat. "Romano-san... What have you done to yourself?" Kiku looked at Romano who layed nearly lifeless. "Feliciano-san would not be happy about this." He sat in silence for a few minutes before talking again.

"Romano, I know you and I aren't as close as I was with your brother but... I still worry about you," he said hoping his words reached him. "If you like, when you wake up you can come to my house. It's peaceful and you can relax in the bath." Kiku began to describe his home land to the sleeping nation. He told him of everything they could do together or alone. He thought for a second before saying something he had never said to him before. "I would really like to be your friend Romano. Italy always said you were a good person and I really do believe that." With that he said his goodbyes and left.

Two hours later a certain albino came into the room. His bloodshot eyes were more red than usual and his pale skin contrasted heavily with them. "Romano..." Was all he could say before kneeling beside the bed and crying again. What else could he do? He didn't know what to do when the Spaniard called him sobbing into the phone. His heart ached when he heard what had happened.

Prussia's pov

I was sitting in my room staring at the wall. West grounded me for what I said about Lovino. I wasn't lying but I suppose it wasn't okay to say that to Spain. My phone rang and I looked at the screen that read "Toni." I sighed ready to hear another threat from him as I answered it.

I heard sobbing instead though. "Spain, what happened?" I asked and he only continued to cry. I waited for him to calm down and asked him again. "It's Lovi, he's in the hospital in a coma."

That was the moment my wall broke down. The wall I had created to keep myself from still having feelings for him crumpled down. My breathing stopped as he explained that his boss found him unconscious and the doctors said he had tried to overdose on his medication.

I hung up the phone and tried to run out the door. West stopped me before I could leave telling me I was not allowed out. "Move West. I need to go," I said as I tried to push him away. "No bruder. You caused a scene the other night and you're grounded." I looked at him, now realizing the absurdity of the situation. My love was in a coma and my little brother won't let me out because he grounded me. "Move out of my fucking way, West. You don't understand how much I need to go now!" I yelled, desperate to leave now. I wanted to see Romano. I want to know if this was all a stupid joke or not. He again objected and I couldn't take it any longer.

"West you have to move. I really need to go, Romano needs me," with each word my voice cracked and pushed me lower until I was on the floor sobbing. West only knelt next to me confused and worried as I continued to cry. I couldn't believe it.

After I stopped crying we boarded the next plane to Italy and sat silently. I looked at my brother slightly envious. When Italy died, he did not sob as I did. He was hurt but he kept his pride through it all. I can't do that. If I lost Romano, I will loose everything I have held this far. The thoughts make me cry silently again as we sit in the plane awkwardly.

We arrived and I ran towards the hospital and ran to his room number. I didn't wait for West I just ran in and I felt my heart break. There he laid with machines attached to him while he was unconscious. I couldn't help but break down. I felt so frustrated with everything. "Why did you do it? Did you hate yourself that much? Romano, I told you so many times that were perfect... Why would you? Did you think we hated you? Romano, I love you. I hate seeing you like this. Why do you suddenly look so damn happy that you're barely hanging onto life? Please don't die on me." West came into the room and had to pull me away to calm down but I didn't stop crying.

Germany pov

I was shocked. The way he just fell to the floor like that. The news about Romano in the hospital. The way he had cried over Romano. I knew we had been distant lately but I didn't think I was this clueless about his life.

Brother has been feeling this way for Romano for some time and... I didn't know. Now that he was asleep after all the crying I stand alone watching the heart monitor. "You really are something," I say as I sit next to him. I look over to my brother... I envy him for the way he was able to just cry that way. No matter how much I tried to force myself, I couldn't cry when Italy left me. I think it's more painful not being able to cry when you're in the biggest depression ever.

"I know you don't like me and all that stuff but you know, I never hated you. Even if you were a dick." I received no clever remark from him and it made me uncomfortable. "I really did love your brother you know, and I really hope you don't die too. You are all I have left of him." I gently moved the hair from his face before going to my brother. I couldn't bare to wake up and have him cry again. I left a note and went to rent a hotel room.

Normal pov

Over the days Spain and Prussia cried less and Romano constantly had visitors. Japan and Germany visited often and so did France. England made his own visit as well to have a small talk with Romano, with Spain standing by the door of course. They did the same to Russia who came and read a small story. Austria came to play him music often with Hungary too, he often played Lilium. (Romano's favorite, he said) Belgium came and cried telling him to wake up soon so she can make him waffles. Netherlands didn't speak much but he came Everytime Bel did. Canada came and left him a large bear though only Prussia seemed to notice he was there. Switzerland and Lichtenstein visited often and always brought flowers. By the first three weeks his room was drowned with flowers and small gifts from the nations, along with a small portrait of the two brothers which Japan brought. Every Tuesday Spain would bring white Lilies for him and place them in a vase on the stand.

Prussia, Germany, Spain and Japan decided to adopt a kitten for Romano, so that when he would wake up, he won't have to be alone all the time. They had high hopes and though they weren't allowed to bring animals, Prussia brought the collar once to "show" him. "I hope you don't mind... We named her Feli. You'll see that she is an awful lot like your brother." A few days later Prussia had sneaked her into the building. They had watched as the cat instantly took a liking to Romano and snuggled by his legs. When Prussia had tried to touch Romano she had hissed and bit him.

When Romano got a fever Prussia panicked. He called Spain who came quickly. The two stayed close and rarely left him alone.

"Hey Romano... You know I love you right?" Prussia was alone with him and he held onto his hand placing gentle kisses on it. "I really do think you will wake up soon. We are all waiting for you to wake up. So get better already, mein liebe." He kissed his forehead before calling his brother. He had gone back to Germany a while back ago and he hadn't heard from him since. Prussia wasn't surprised that he had been working all week without stop. He had decided to finally spend time with his brother and he told him to get there instantly while he called Spain to watch Romano. The two brothers left and Spain sat with Romano. He talked to him and he worried. He cried before curling next to Romano on the bed and falling asleep. By the time Prussia went back to the hospital he found Spain cuddling Romano on the bed. He shook him awake thinking it wasn't safe for him before he left for the hotel room. That morning the scent of coffee filled the air as the three sat with Romano and two had said goodbye.

Prussia heard that America wanted to visit, he had stopped by the other day but left quickly. He hadn't noticed that he didn't stop by at all the first few weeks until he saw him. He decided to go take a shower while Spain was on his way over. The two were not expecting to see Romano rushed to the emergency unit as they came back though. It was Tuesday, and Spain held the Lilies tightly as the two sat shocked. They heard Romano may not make it through the seizure. Prussia called Germany and he told Japan. Spain also told France who also told England and Canada.

It was 4pm when they were all in the waiting room. Prussia was surprised that so many people came when he had only planned Germany and France to come. It was 7:30 when the nurse came. They all looked up when she said Lovino's name. They waited as she talked to Spain and Prussia privately. When the two came back in they were crying and the nations tried to get them to talk but they only continued to cry.

 **sorry this chapter was really dull I just wanted to get it out of the way so I can do the next chapter already**


	24. Chapter 24- we, still as one

Romano looked at the faces over him and felt the tears drip down the sides of his face. "Feli... Nono," he covered his eyes as he began to cry.

"Why are you crying fratello?" Feliciano said with a chuckle. "Because.. I missed you guys... I don't understand what is happening but I'm so happy to see you guys, even if it is a dream." The two frowned at each other before lightly smiling back at Romano.

"You aren't dreaming my boy. You're dead," Ancient Rome said. Romano looked at his grandfather in shock at hearing the words. "What?"

"Fratello you were having a seizure," Feliciano said sadly. "You tried to commit suicide and ended up in a coma. You got sick and had a seizure."

Romano felt shocked before all the memories came to him. He could remember Feliciano dying and he could remember feeling hopeless for 40 years. He remembered not being able to take the pain and trying to commit suicide. He remembered Prussia and Spain. He remembered listening to America and hearing the beeping. "I'm...dead," he said still shocked.

He stood up and Feliciano quickly pulled him into a hug. "I'm so sorry I caused you so much pain, fratello," he said with tears flowing down his face.

"I should be the one apologizing, idiota. It's my fault you are here after all," Romano said holding his brother tightly.

"No, I had my own reasons fratello. I had someone I had to see here anyways," he said smiling. Romano almost felt relieved hearing that.

"Well that doesn't matter now fratello... You are going to be gone soon so let's spend this time together."

"What do you mean?" Romano asked curiously. "My son, you aren't gone for good. You will go back." His grandfather said smiling at him.

"But I don't want to go back. I wanna be with you guys. You are my family!" Romano protested.

"Fratello you have another family waiting for you too," Feliciano said with a smile. "What are you talking about? Noone wants me there..." Romano said sadly. His grandfather clicked his tongue and waved a finger in front of him. "Just look," he said as he pulled a large pot filled with water.

Lovino looked into the pot curiously. He could see the hospital waiting room and all the countries that sat there. They all looked sad and anxious and Spain held a bouquet of Lilies.

"What are they doing?" He asked.

"Roma, they have all been there for you while you were in the hospital. They are waiting for you to come back," Feliciano said grabbing his brother's hands.

"How do you know that's not fake?" He asked with a pout.

"Lovino, this pot holds all the tears you have ever shed. It reveals your entire life. I'm pretty sure it is not fake," Rome said smiling at the boy. Romano looked back and could see the water playing scenes from his childhood just as he could remember them.

"I love them but...I want to be with you guys too," Romano said. "Lovino... We will always wait for you. We will always be here. Your return is inevitable, but life is limited. You can't go back once you've been here too long." Rome said. "That's right fratello. Go live your life. Life is beautiful, it's your job to paint the beauty in it though. You only get one life, live it as long as you can and then we will be together." Feliciano added with tears in his eyes. Romano could only nod as he too began to cry. "Go back to your loved ones now. They are waiting," Rome said with a sad smile.

"Right.. I love you guys... I love you nono, and my dear Fratellino," Romano said as the two pulled him into a tight embrace and he began to fade away.

"We love you too, Fratello" Feliciano sobbed. "Yes, and we will always be watching over you," their grandfather said. "Remember though.. Even apart, we are still one, Romano Vargas." Feliciano said giving a kiss to his brother's forehead."Yes, Feliciano.. the one who brought me happiness." Romano replied.

They continued to hold him until he was completely gone. The two wiped their tears and smiled at the pot of tears. They were interrupted by the sound of crunching leaves behind them. Feliciano turned around to look at the small blonde boy with the black cloak that stood with his father.

"Germania, so you came for a visit?" Rome said.

"I see you finally did something good for that boy, Rome." He said with his usual stoic expression before moving to sit next to the man on a rock.

"I'm sorry about that, do you want to go play now?" Feliciano said to the young boy. He flushed bright red and nodded before looking down. His blue eyes looked so full of life though he wasn't. After all, Italy came to him after so many years apart. Feliciano took his hand and they both walked away happily.

Romano faded from his family's embrace and faded back into the void he was previously in. The next thing he could remember is feeling a shock in his chest and a flash of bright light. He could faintly hear someone say, "he's coming back!" Before he faded back to the darkness.

He didn't feel anything after that. The next thing he could feel is his eyes open heavily.

He felt exhausted, how long did he sleep? His eyes adjusted to the darkness and he looked around. He was in a hospital room and the television lightly illuminated the room. He looked around and could see two figures on the chairs beside him. He slowly sat up and felt his head spin.

He pulled the needle out of his arm before standing up. He could feel his hair prickling his neck, he long needed a hair cut. His legs wobbled as he took a step forward and the gown he wore was loose on his thin body.

He stepped over gifts that were scattered over the floor and passed the table where multiple bouquets were mounted over each other.

He slowly walked over to the closest figure and looked at their face. He was pale and his now growing white hair looked untamed. He layed sprawled onto the uncomfortable looking chair.

Romano gently crawled onto the figure and curled into him.

He closed his eyes and felt himself drift off before he felt an arm wrap around him.

He looked up and looked at the wide glassy red eyes that stared at him. "Romano?" Another voice said from across the room. Romano could only see the glowing green eyes in the dimmed light.

He smiled tiredly, "Yeah."

 **The end? Maybe...**

 **Hope you guys liked it. I don't own Hetalia (Germany is HRE! But not here lol)**


	25. Chapter 25: Final!

The sound of chopping and bubbling filled the kitchen as spanish music played from the small speaker.

Romano placed the pasta into the water before taking a tomato and placing it into his mouth. He lightly swung his hips in rhythm to the music.

"Shake it, Roma!" The Spaniard chuckled before pulling the younger man by the hands and proceeding to dance with him.

"Baila, baila. Mueve la cintura!" Spain joked as he danced with the Italian.

"What are you two doing?" They turned to see Prussia with a wild smirk with Germany, England, Japan, and America standing beside him. "Vamos! Dance too!" Spain said away pulling from the Italian and pulling in the English man with him.

"Hey you bloody git! I can't dance this!" He whined as the Spaniard continued to swing him around.

"Okay then 'Mano, let's us dance!" America yelled as he pulled the Italian into a dance. "Why me? Oi bastard you're swinging too hard!" Romano yelled.

"America don't just take my boyfriend!" Prussia yelled trying to get in between the two. America laughed as he swung Romano away from the Prussian everytime.

"Hey, I have to finish cooking!" Romano yelled and America let him go. "Just go sit down or something," he said as he returned to cutting the Tomatoes.

They all left except for Spain and Prussia.

Prussia gently wrapped his arms around Romano before kissing his ear lightly. "I'm happy you're here," he whispered as Romano blushed. "You always say that," he said nudging him off.

"Well it's true. God finally answered my prayers and gave you back to me," Prussia said with a smile. "He's right. We are all happy you came back to us," Spain said also placing a peck onto the Italian's cheek.

Romano woke up a month ago. The two had cried after they saw him. He stayed in the hospital for a few more days before he was allowed back home. Spain threw him a welcome home party with many nations invited. Romano had felt so loved for the first time in centuries. He had yet to gain back all his weight, most of his clothes were still loose on him but with Spain and Prussia around, he knew he would fill them soon.

A light meowing caught his attention and he looked over to Feli standing at his feet. He picked up the cat before placing it onto his head. He fell in love with the kitten when he first met her. She was so short and fat, and her friendly personality reminded him of his younger brother. He often placed the cat onto his head and it would lay there happily, purring and falling asleep if not trying to play with his curl.

He and Spain continued to make food as their guest chatted in the living room. It was cold outside as December arrived.

"Bel and Ned will be here soon," Spain said as they began to place the food into serving dishes. "France and Canada are a few minutes away too."

Lovino nodded as he took the wine out. Prussia took plates to the living room while Lovino quickly made a punch with alcohol. As he was deep in thought a pouring sound caught the attention. He looked over to see France pouring heavy amounts to Alcohol into the drink. "Let's all have fun, non?" He said with a wink. Lovino smirked and nodded before retrieving cups.

The food was set and now everyone had arrived. Everyone ate and joked and it wasn't long before everyone began to get drunk.

After a night of laughing, singing and dancing Everyone decided to sleep over. Prussia turned on the fire place as Lovino brought blankets and pillows. They set large blankets on the floor before laying down in front of the fire place. They layed with their drunkenness fading away. They talked softly before they all fell asleep. Lovino smiled looking at them. Canada was curled up around his bear hugging it tightly while England and Francis were surprisingly cuddled up. Spain held tightly onto a sleeping Japan. America layed sprawled out while Germany slept on the edge facing away from everyone else. Netherlands was asleep on the couch. He had been smoking and managed to get the couch before everyone else and Lovino carried a sleeping Belgium into his guest room and layed her down before pulling the blanket over her and closing the door behind him as he left.

He made his way to his room and changed before looking out the window. He opened it and leaned out looking surprised. Small white specks were sprinkled throughout the city as they fell. "That's rare. It's snowing," he murmured before feeling arms around him. He turned to see Prussia holding him with a soft smile.

He leaned in and felt the warmth of the Albino's lips as they kissed. They pulled away and pressed foreheads lovingly. "I love you, Romano. You are so beautiful. You make me so happy," Prussia said and watched Romano turn red before kissing him again.

Romano woke the next morning sore but warm. The soft light hit him and he shifted in bed to look at the sleeping man beside him. He could see the light red marks on his neck and knew he surely had some everywhere as well. He could feel the warmth from the other man's body as he snuggled closer to him. The fluffy feeling in his toes told him that Feli snuck in last night to sleep with them. The smell of coffee and Waffles surrounded him and he began to grow hungry. But due to the coldness around them he refused to get up. He could see the bedroom window still open from the previous night.

However, no matter how cold the room was, he felt warm with the content he felt. He loved the way life turned out. He's happy cuddling beside the former nation and the small cat by his feet. This was his new family and he loved it.

A few minutes later Prussia woke up too and placed a small kiss onto his nose. He lazily stood and Lovino watched him pull on his clothes while shivering and looking back at Lovino. "Come on. Get dressed liebe," he said softly and Lovino nodded.

He stood and shivered as pulled down the large shirt he wore. He pulled a large hoodie over himself before putting on some pants. The two went downstairs to find everyone in the kitchen, some sitting, some moving about.

They all exchanged good mornings before Lovino joined the cooking team. Prussia left to help Canada make pancakes as Lovino complained that Spain didn't add Enough Tomatoes to the eggs. Francis made coffee as Belgium happily made waffles and Japan set the table.

Soon enough everyone sat in the kitchen with some even standing or sitting on the counters having a large breakfast. Lovino looked around at everyone laughing and arguing.

This was his family too. He loved them but he would never tell them that. He felt lucky to be alive and life seemed beautiful. Just then the words echoed in his mind and he thought of Feliciano.

What was he doing up in heaven? Was he watching him right now? Feliciano.

He watched as everyone left before running to his brother's old studio. Prussia and Feli watched from the doorway as Lovino quickly placed a blank canvas onto an isle and took a pallet and dumped paint onto it.

Lovino pinned his hair back and took the brush. They watched as he began to give large strokes onto the canvas. Only one image stayed in his mind as he painted. The soft colors mixed together and his eyes never left the canvas.

Prussia watched amazed at his Lover. He looked so different while he painted. He seemed focused yet like he was just carelessly smacking the brush onto the canvas. He watched as Feli tried to approach him only to get hit by the paint that dripped from the pallet.

It seemed like forever when Lovino finally stopped and looked at his work. He smiled and look over to the man who sat against the wall. "Do you want to see?" He asked and Prussia jumped up in seconds.

"It's amazing," Prussia said as he looked at it. The painting was done with soft yellows and oranges and though there appeared to be a lack of detail, the picture looked amazing.

He had painted their morning, in the kitchen. He could see each person sitting or standing in their exact places with food spread across the table. He could almost see the gloomy sky from the painted window while the room looked warm and inviting. However one thing was different. A vase with white Lilies was on the counter, beside where Lovino sat. Strange, but he didn't mention it.

"Well? How does it make you feel?" Lovino asked anxiously. "It makes me feel.. warm after a long cold day. It also feels safe and happy, or... what's the word..." Prussia looked for the perfect word before Lovino answered.

"Content?" "Ja! That's it." Prussia exclaimed.

"I named this picture 'happiness'. What do you think?" He asked nervously. "It's perfect and amazing," Prussia replied before leaning in to kiss his boyfriend.

"Nono, let Romano have his privacy!" "But it's getting good!" Rome whined as he watched the two head for the room hand in hand. "Nono, please?" Feliciano begged making the older man sigh in defeat. He watched as the older man left to Germania with a wild grin.

"I- Italy.." Feliciano turned to look at the small boy behind him who blushed brightly. "Can you teach me how to paint again?" The boy asked holding the Paintbrush in his hand. Feliciano smiled. "Yes of course, Holy Rome."

 **Italy:Ciao~ Feliciano here. Ve~ isn't it nice that fratello is happy again? I like to see him happy. You know one time we were in Rome and Romano was buying pasta and he- have you ever had pasta? It's amazing you should try so-**

 **Romano: Oi Veniziano. You're rambling again.**

 **Italy: sorry Fratello. Oh I know! Why don't you say thanks?**

 **Romano: huh? Why me?**

 **Italy: because it's your story! And Iroyuki was nice enough to give you a happy ending.**

 **Romano: ah... Well I suppose. But I'm not doing it for you Iroyuki! Just for the lovely Bellas reading this**

 **Italy: Ve~ fratello is so smooth.**

 **Romano: we'd like to thank everyone who read this far. Even though she added that bullshit twist**

 **Italy: Now a little fun facts for the readers**

 **1) the original ship for this story was going to be Romerica which is why America was the one to find Romano alone in the park.**

 **Romano: 2) The plot twist was not planned. She just ran out of ways to get to her original ending.**

 **Italy: and 3) Romano was supposed to die after being in a comma and end with no real heaven afterwards.**

 **Romano: What?!**

 **Italy: Ve~ Thanks for reading-**

 **Romano and Italy: We, still as one.**

 **Prussia: Iroyuki does not own the awesome me!**

 **Romano: O-Oi bastard! Get out of here!**

 **Italy: Ve~**


	26. Chapter 26- announcement!

**Hey everyone! Just here for a quick announcement.**

 **If you enjoyed** _we, still as one,_ **And felt the story felt incomplete, then Congratulations!**

 **I am now doing a somewhat Prequel to this story. Yay~ This time featuring Feliciano in his darkest moments before ending his life. This will also show him watching over his brother after his death.**

 **Hope you enjoy it! The title is "One half is not whole. One lost is not found."**

s/12252616/1/One-half-is-not-whole-One-lost-is-not-found

 _Link^^_


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